7-26-2022 – A Word to the Wise – On the gifts:

Lets’ address the issue of emotional and non-emotional gifts. These two just like verbal and non-verbal represent dividing lines in the gifts. But while a mixture allows a wider relationship it also poses problems. Starting with the emotional versus the non-emotional.

The world view of each is much different. The emotional person filters experiences from the position of feelings. Either of themselves or others. This is not a factor with the non-emotional gift. Several years ago, a person came out with a book called; the ‘Emotional IQ.’

Though odd it is accurate. Some have emotional sensitive off the chart; in contrast others have emotional IQs approaching zero. Those with low emotional IQ find it difficult to connect with the feelings of others. Often discounting feeling altogether.

How does this affect marriage?

7-23-2022 – A Word to the Wise – Gifts continued

By looking at the pairs that are the same you begin to see the problems when it comes to marriage. Let’s start with two Prophets.

When they have children, one begins to see the severity of the problem. If their children are not Prophets, then the child is subject to intense scrutiny everything the child does is right or wrong with nothing in between. No one can intervene for the child. The self-critical nature of the Prophet intensifies the self-conflict leading to poor self-images. But most problematic is the severity of discipline and the demands for perfection. If the children’s gifts are Mercy or Exhorter, the impact is greatest.

So, let’s take the other extreme if both individuals are Mercies. Under these circumstances you have undisciplined children for Mercies rarely discipline. But what about the marriage? Neither are leaders, both are slow to act both avoid using words to confront or hurt. The biggest problem is that both tend to make decisions on emotions and not principles.

Do you see the pattern here? The strong attributes rule out effective judgement. The weak attributes cancel out the value of the Gift. The only Gift which is able to marry is the Exhorter. The problem here however is that two helpers are helping each other, and the focus of attention is on their relationship and others do not receive the benefit of the Gift.

This is the problem when the Gifts are the same what is the results if you mix non emotional with emotional Gifts? Under these circumstances other problems occurs. This group also makes up most of my clients.

The first circumstance is the Prophet married to a Mercy. Seventy per cent of the time these two marry. While both have the emotional quality in all other respects, they are opposite. The positive aspect of this union is the children have the benefit of good discipline, usually.

7-22-2022 – A Word to the Wise – ON THE MOTIVATION GIFTS, AGAIN

Several years ago, I took some basic woodworking courses based on the Amish way of building furniture. We were taught 3 basic types of joints. One of those joints is what is called a dovetail. I do not know if being and Exhorter which is not a physical gift had anything to do with, but it has been impossible for me to learn how to make the dovetail. After hundreds of failures, I just gave up.

Mary and I have been married 58 years she is a Server. One of the traits I joke about is her tendency, and a tendency of all Servers, is to say things that do not make sense. These two gifts in many ways are incompatible. Example, Mary loves to do puzzles, I will not touch one, I could not put together a puzzle if my life depended on it. She insists that I help her. So, we compromised on one puzzle. It is one that is made up of the 50 States. The problem: she fits the pieces together, I on the other hand take the names of the different states and lay them out. We argue, she gets upset because she does not want a hundred pieces with names on them strung out on the board. I give up because I cannot fit the patterns together. Two totally different methods of solving a problem.

So, what does this have with the Motivational Gifts? It is exactly like life two different gifts find it difficult to communicate. Particularly if one is the physical gift and the other an emotional gift. Why did the Lord ever create this situation where opposites gifts tend to marry? Moreover, almost never should two people with the same gift marry!

The answer is so simple and profound it took my Prophet daughter to explain it to me. The emotional gifts (Prophet, Exhorter, Mercy) in contrast with the physical/Intellectual (Teacher, Giver, Server, Organizer) groups process things differently which leads to blocks or inability to understand each other. This results in confusion and frustration then anger and fault finding.

Example, take the emotional group they process life with a mixture of the intellectual and physical but emphasis the emotional significance. If they get sick, or hurt, then they can process it. If the physical group experiences hurt, pain, sorry it is a roadblock which they cannot process. Much like Job was not able to process what was going on in his world when it collapsed.

By now you are wondering how to bridge this gap. The Lord gave me the assignment several years ago. I try to get those I counsel to start the process, but few have the desire to keep it up.

There are two very different books, one for those who seek the Lord and one for those who don’t. The first is Francine Rivers “Redeeming Love.” The assignment, the couple reads the book out loud to each other. The individuals must not read ahead or by themselves. They do not have to discuss it but may. what happens is since the book is highly emotional, they find themselves engaged in emotional communication. They are not talking about their own problems. This is only step number one. After this book other books of a similar nature are chosen. If the couple and not Christians, I have them read “The Mountain Between Us.”

Biblically, a substitute are the encounters of Jesus in which he heals individuals. These assignments are to start the process of bridging the gap between the two worlds, physical/intellectual, and emotional. (To be continued).

7-13-2022 – A Word to the Wise – Domestic violence Counseling, and prayer

Up to this point I had just ignored family violence. I put many in jail because of it but did not really pursue it in counseling. I said in the beginning I tried to avoid the issue. Why? When I was four, I remember standing out on the sidewalk early one evening when a squad car drove up. Two police officer got out and one said in a gentle voice it’s about time you go home. They went into my parents’ home. When I was 10 my brother sister and I stood outside a home with a large picture window inside my mother and stepfather were having a knock down fight. She broke virtually everything made of glass, pictures, cups, pictures, lamps. Going in after the fight glass was everywhere. When I was 11 my mother stepped between two of her drunk brothers fighting and received a deep 8 inch cut to her arm. I compressed it to stop the bleeding while going to the hospital. When I was 15 my mother told me that one of my aunts had been murdered by her husband. So domestic violence is very personal to me.

So, I just avoided the issue until the following incident.

Element 311, March 1985

The March wind howls through the trees. Its 11:00 p.m. My partner and I get off in 30 minutes and we are both weary. It has been a full moon Friday night. ‘311, Signal 6 (Disturbance) 2722 Hatcher Street, apartment 231, woman calling for help.’ ‘Received.’ We waited a moment to see if night watch elements would take the call. They didn’t. So we started for the location.

It only takes a few minutes for we are near Second Ave. We pull up in front of the apartment. These are a series of old barrack two style apartments. All seems quiet. It is ice cold with a blowing cold wind. We climb the stairs; I am in the lead. It is a very narrow stairway room for only one at a time. Stopping at the top of the stairs, the cold wind howls. Almost with nowhere to stand I listen for a few seconds but hear nothing. I bang on the door with my flashlight. ‘Police.’

Then shortly I hear a voice say, ‘what you want’. Police, open the door we need to talk to you.’ A black male, 5’8, opens the door. He has no shirt on. Dressed only in a pair of jeans. He is sweating profusely. Actually, water is flowing out of his pores. Now it is really cold on the stairs, and he is sweating!

He seems very agitated. I ask him to have his wife come to the door. He said, ‘she is not here.’ ‘Sir we got a call of a woman calling for help.’ ‘Sorry she is not here she went to the store.’ While he is talking, I notice the cuts over both his hands.

I notice a small trash can near the doorway with glass and blood in it. I observe that the suspect has cut marks on his hands and chest so I tell him we need to step inside that it is cold, I will do a quick walk through and if she is not here, we will leave.

He reluctantly lets us in. My partner talks to him at the front door while I walk through. It is my experience in this complex that most of the apartments are filthy and overrun with roaches often dropping down from the ceiling onto back of the neck. This apartment is different. It is dark the lights are out except for a night light at the end of the hall. It appears unusually clean.

I check the first door on the right. It’s a bedroom and there are two children asleep in the bed. That is a good sign. I walk to the back bedroom, it is clean, the bed still made. I notice that there is a woman’s purse on the bed. This woman did not leave without her purse.

“Partner there is a woman’s purse here on the bed.” I then check the bathroom. Turn on the light and gasp. There is blood and glass in the sink and on the floor all over the mirror.

Then I walk back towards the kitchen and stumble over an ironing board. I turn on the lights. I cringe. The sight is unbelievable. It looks likes a scene out of the movie Nightmare on Elm Street.”

There is blood everywhere. All over the fridge, down the front and sides. All over the stove, blood everywhere, all over the kitchen table, the walls, everywhere is blood and glass. Partner, cuff him I shout.

There is an ironing board with an iron setting on it both covered with blood, and black hair and pieces of brain matter.

Partner go check the bathroom and the kitchen. I turn to the suspect, ‘where is she?’ ‘Who, your wife, stupid.’ ‘She went to the store.’ ‘Without her purse, no she did not, where is she?

My partner comes back and takes over the interview I go back to the kitchen and open the backdoor. There is blood on the stairs and more glass. The railing is blood soaked all the way down. I follow the trail of blood and glass. But no sign of the woman. I return to the interview.

My partner talks to the suspect and convinces him to tell us what happens perhaps she is still alive. Finally, he gives it up and talks about the fight and how he carried her body down and put her in the car and drove it down the alley.

My partner takes him to look for the car. I wait inside with the sleeping children. We get a call apparently another element is assigned a call a couple of blocks away, a woman is found in a car, and had fallen against the steering wheel and is sounding the horn. She is still alive! They called for an ambulance. We arrest the suspect and take him to jail. Family comes to stay with the kids. Apparently, they had gotten in a fight, and he beat her with the iron.

Of all the experiences this one has lived in my memory. Vivid recollections of the handprints in blood on the walls and appliances come alive every time I watch certain television programs. While the movies are dressed up scenes, this scene is real, and vivid, and tells the story of man’s inhumanity.

Counseling? In my opinion is useless when it comes to family violence. You may try to save the person by giving them all sorts of warnings and suggestion however most of the time it falls on deaf ears. All the research tells us that violent men do not change their behavior.

So, what does a counselor do? First get their head out of the sand. Some of the first questions I ask now have to do with family violence. By now you know I am crazy about assignments. Every woman who crosses my path I now tell to read the first two chapters of The Gift of Fear, by Gavin De Becker. God gave each of us a special gift of fear that is totally different than anxiety. It is there to warn us. If we neglect the warning what befalls us is on us. This author has done threat analysis for the Secret Service, he knows the warning signs.

Next, I tell them before God they have a responsibility to protect their children. If they fail to do that the Lord will hold them responsible. If they have been strangled in the past, I talk at length about the probably of dying at their spouses’ hands. If they will not divorce them, while they still have the ability to leave. If they are Christians, they are not allowed to hide behind any of false interpretations of Jesus teaching. He was never taught nor taught, nor believed that it was godly to not protect one’s family.

So, the solution is education? Not hardly. It should be apparent by looking at the war on drugs and numerous hours spent on trying to educate teens about the harmful effects and the failure of education. Instead of a reduction in drug use there was a big jump in their use. Where then does prayer come in? A better question is why is prayer ineffective in dealing violence? What are we saying? Prayer is of no effect in dealing domestic violence. Why would you possible say that? The Lord has provided solutions but, in most cases, many absolutely refuse to follow the Lord’s instructions. What instructions? Romans 13 is clear. We are under the laws of the state in which we live. The laws of this state are very clear as well as the other 49 States. You bring charges against the offender, and you do not withdraw the case. If that fails, not because you have failed to obey the laws then you pray, and the Lord hears.

One of the most effective assignments I give is to film, record inappropriate behavior. Most refuse the assignment. Those that do the assignment find most of the time the behavior stops. That is what the Lord told me to do about it. Why is it effective? Violent people for the most part do not want their behavior available to the church or general public to see.

What is missing in the violent person? The element of empathy. They consider the person they are violent to the cause of the problem. They will always say “If” then I would not have. Very few go to prison. If in prison, then they become the victim then on rare occasion they may develop a sense of empathy. One may ask cannot the Lord change them? The Lord gives us free will. He may influence our will but will not rob us of our will.

Consider the concentration camps of World War II. How many of those guards took responsibility for what they were doing? Behold the victim who to the bitter end remained victim. Only one or perhaps two instances in ten years of the existence of those camps that the prisoners who outnumbered the guards, resisted. Even today behold the host of excuses the woman gives for remaining in the violent home and subjecting her own children to the violence.

So, what can one expect the counselor to do? What does the Lord do? It is a failure on the part of the passive person to seek and not follow God’s directives. The Lord provides a way out and what is that? Leave the abuser, charged the abuser, or, if necessary, under certain circumstances kill the abuser to protect your children, but make absolutely sure you are in the right before God. Afterwards pray.

7-10-2022 – A Word to the Wise – The Womb prayer, and Counseling

November 14, 2010, 4.15 p.m. I had been studying the Gifts for some 23 years. Particularly, I was now paying attention to the nonverbal indicators of the gifts. I walked in the house and Mary had a new 3-month-old to take care of. Macie was lying on a blanket, so I picked her up and turned to talk to Mary. In my peripheral vision the Lord nudged me, look at what she is doing. This infant was struggling to make eye contact with me! She has the motivational gift of Exhorter.

The Lord had just pushed back the presence of the gifts to newborn. Now it was apparent all children receive their gift at birth. But then later He revealed an earlier presence of the gifts.

Several years ago, before it became a popular field in research the Lord revealed even from scripture the profound effects of the womb environment. How what occurs here effects and determines the child’s future. The womb events should never be ignored in counseling.

At conception the Lord assigns a gift to each along with a purpose in His kingdom. Individuals understanding this will discover how the Lord uses everything in that child’s world whether good or evil to further his kingdom if the child allows it. Contrary to what we think the worse things carry the greatest value. An example or two.

The Mercy is highly sensitive to emotions. The mother is under tremendous emotional, and physical strain. Whether by a physical or emotional abuse or other circumstances. The Mercy experiences all of this during the 9 months or less in the womb. In the teens we may see an over sensitive person who runs from relationships or develops panic attacks or a host of other problems. The gift is being turned inward.

However, what is missed is the power and ability this person has for healing others by taking the emotional illness or even physical illness off others.

A trait that is developed in the womb the gift of Mercy endows the person with this hidden ability to remove pain from others. Development of the gift requires the existence of pain This ability continues later in life if the Mercy develops trust with the Lord and depends on him to provide and carry the burden.

Take the problem of abandonment, neglect, or abuse during the early years of childhood. The abandonment and neglect issues follow the child for the rest of their lives. Yet as horrible as this maybe it carries with it golden possibilities that the Lord provides because of these situations. Prayer provides the relationship with the Lord that makes these things possible.

Two womb examples which clarify the importance of prayer intervening in this new world.

Clarice was born and immediately failed to do what all infants do at birth, that is head for the mothers’ breasts. Not Clarice, she would go nowhere near her mothers’ breast. Strange, so the doctors tried bottle feeding her, and immediately she took to it. The doctor could not figure out what was wrong. The next day a mother with a newborn infant was feeding her infant, so the doctor asks her if she would try and feed Clarice. Yes, immediately Clarice took right to her breast. How odd. So, they returned and questioned the mother about the prenatal experience. She told them she did not want Clarice argued with her husband from the beginning and wanted to abort her. Her husband refused to let her do it. Now they knew the answer, the mother did not want Clarice and she knew it in the womb and would have nothing to do with her mother. The investigator followed this child for four years after birth. She never would have anything to do with her mother. (It is felt that Clarice has the motivational gift of Prophet or Mercy.)

The next example comes from Genesis 25:19-33. We have these two infants fighting in the womb. It gets so violent that the mother inquires of the Lord what is going on and is informed that it is two nations in her womb. From what is indicated in the text it is apparent that one is a Server (Esau) the other a Giver, (Jacob). Confirmation of their gifts are confirmed later on in scripture. But what is most amazing indeed the attribute of a Giver is seen in Jacob’s dealing with Laban.

More importantly when Jacob heads for home he sends gifts to his brother to placate him. Something Giver’s do, utilizing gifts to resolve issues because they are materialistic and see the world through these glasses. Esau on the other hand when he meets Jacob refuses the gifts, he is not materialistic and rather wants to resolve their differences.

Scripture gives numerous examples of pregnant women and how the Lord interprets their beginning adventures.

In counseling I will assure you it is of great importance to discover this period of the client’s life for it lends to explain many behaviors later in life. I assure the father praying to and for the unborn child in the child’s hearing is heard and impacts the child. I could give numerous examples but will reserve this adventure for later.

One last comment in observing numerous sonagrams some of the traits of the different gifts maybe observed even this early.

Interpreters call the gifts of Romans 12 ‘Spiritual Gifts’ they are not spiritual gifts they are God-given stamps that this child is God’s creation and is endowed with a gift to prove it.

I will forewarn you the next section deals with family violence, counseling and prayer, so you might want to skip it.

7-4-2022 – A Word to the Wise – On Prayer and Counseling

Less someone think that something special or unique is happening it is not. Every child of God is allowed these experiences if they search for them. There is nothing special about me, I am a great sinner far more so than most.

Counseling and prayer. I would not know what to do or say given the vastly different situations and expectation if it were not for the Lord. There are various areas that I wish to show the Lord revealed to me.

Whenever communication is involved the foremost place to go is teaching about the Motivational Gifts. When a couple realizes the positive and negative effects of the gifts then it becomes easier to work with the problems involved. Let’s look at some examples.

One is a Server, (or Giver) the other Exhorter (Could be a Prophet or Mercy). When they marry problems are predictable. The Server is a physical person that distance negative emotional situations. When conflict develops the Server avoids or uses passive aggressive measures to put distance between them and the distress.

The Lord revealed many years ago a very simple interaction needs to occur. The Exhorter must translate for the Server in the same manner one translates in a foreign language. How does that happen? If the Exhorter says ‘I am anxious: it goes beyond the ability of the Server to grasp. Instead, it must be put in physical terms. The Exporter goes to a chalk board and scrapes their fingernails against it and says to the Server, that is what I am feeling. Put in physical terms the Server now understands.

Different situation. Prophets and Mercies marry 70% of the time. Why, they are opposite individuals, why drawn to each other? The Lord explained it this way. When they have children, the Mercy will not discipline, the Prophet on the other hand is direct and absolute. Their joint discipline provides just the proper temperament the child needs. Otherwise, the child would be spoiled, or abuse. The parents must cooperate and accept each other’s role.

One other matter about communication. Scripture makes it very clear how one is to communicate in certain matters. Specifically, Proverbs 9:7-8 makes it crystal clear you do not argue with foolishness. If you do, you’re a fool. So, when you have these arguments going on with a couple both are acting foolishly and at least one must be taught how to respond in such matters.

In Matthew 5:25 the Lord points out a discerning wise reply. That is “Agree with your enemy quickly,” you’re not agreeing they are right, rather that is what they believe, and you do not argue with what they believe less you find yourself being foolish.

These are just primary steps when the difficulty is communication. So, what other types of problems does the Lord have solutions for?

7-2-2022 – A Word to the Wise – We have been talking about prayer, lets continue:

The following incident reveals just how interwoven the help the Lord provides for those who call upon him. The information is taken from my journal, so the information is timely and accurate.

It is Friday September 23, 1988 , 0630 I am at the police department working alone my sign on call is 2676 which identifies me as a reserve officer.

I get to the substation about 6.30 A.M.

As I was checking out my vehicle a Code 3 call comes out. Two elements 361, and 363 are assigned. “House being broken into near the VA hospital Lancaster, and Ledbetter.” After arrival, the elements put on the air, ‘Women broke into the house and kidnapped two young children, 4 and 6 years old.’

A couple of minutes later the woman is identify as having committed two murders the night before in Ft. Worth and was wanted for homicide. Every element in Southeast was assigned to search for the woman and children. The Helicopter now joins the search she was thought to be on foot. A clothing description is given out. So, I joined the search. After about 45 minutes I was ready to give up because I had another assignment to go too.

As I started to turn North the Lord told me to go West on Ledbetter. I was reaching the borderline between channel three and four. For the most part officers stay on the channel of their assignment.

I started to turn again, and the Lord said no, The Lord intervenes tell me to stay on the road turning neither North nor South. I obey, crossing Lancaster I switch to channel 4. Immediately the Lord tells me to slow down. I go a block or two and again the Lord tells me, slow down and look to your right as you come to each new intersection. I slow, but again a third time, slow down, now look to your right. I observe some 3 blocks down a grown woman and two small children. I turn around and slowly drive up the street. Get the description and call channel 4 dispatch. ‘2676 give me the description of the kidnapped children.’ Channel 4 dispatch tells me to go back to channel 3 to get the description. Channel 3 dispatcher give me the description of the woman two children. Channel 3 dispatch, ‘black female about 5’7 wearing a beige coat, children is a six-year-old boy with red pajamas and no coat. Black female 4 years old in a blue dress.

I got back to channel 4 because that was the area I was in and told dispatch,” I have a homicide suspect and the two kidnapped children in sight and gave the location and ask for backup. There was silence for a moment and the dispatcher then advised me that there was no help available. This was something never done on an assist officer call. She suggested I might go back to channel 3 and see if help was available.

Lord, I need some help here. The woman was approaching a major intersection which would complicate the situation and possibly endanger the children. I go to channel 3 an advise “Signal 15 officer needs help suspect and two kidnapped children in sight. Dispatch immediately advised 361, 363 Code 3. The Lord then indicated I should pull in front of her stop and offer a warm vehicle to the children instead of waiting for backup because of the major intersection coming up.

Dispatch, ‘I am going to have to stop her here where I can control the situation, tell cover to step it up.’ I turn on my lights and pull in front of the suspect. Get out of the squad car. I ask her if she needs a ride somewhere since it is cold.

Hopefully, she does not suspect the real reason for stopping her. I can hear the siren in the distance. Putting myself between her and the kids I ask the kids a couple of questions in a non-threatening manner.

The sirens are getting closer, so I turn and ask her what her name is. She gets angry and tells me it is none of my business, she does not have to tell me her name. By this time the two children have backed away from her. There is fear in their eyes. The children were shivering. She starts to back up and I tell her ‘You do not want to do this in front of the kids. I reach for my weapon but do not pull it out. I do not want to frighten the children. I tell her again, “make no sudden movements.”

I have her put the kids in the backseat of the squad car. She hears the approaching squads and puts her hands back on the trunk lid. She starts to cry, and then the 2 elements come to a screeching halt officers jump out grabbing her. I talk to the children for a few minutes afterward.

“Thank you Lord for the opportunity to serve you, to protect your children,” but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength.” Where we were located when I stopped them no one was looking for them in this place since she had crossed over into a different area. The Lord did that. Step by step.

Again, my purpose her is to reveal the day to day minute to minute concern for those who ask for the Lord’s help.

These situations are totally different than the interventions of the Lord at work and the resulting written material. But the same Lord.

6-29-2022 – A Word to the Wise – ON PRAYER CONTINUED

Now we will return to where I dropped out of church and stopped praying. This lasted about seven years. What a total waste. Again, it was not a matter of faith I did not doubt for a second God’s power or glory just wanted nothing to do with people. See how he drew me back.

The return journey the Lord orchestrated in several ways. First in the interventions, at Terrell, then with the police department. I will give specific examples of each.

When I took work at Terrell as a social worker/counselor I was content to work there forever. I did not see myself returning to church or church work. I was quickly promoted and given supervisory responsibilities. I decided to work on the doctorate. (Or should I say the Lord saw to it). It was during these 500-mile trips back to Harding that the relationship with the Lord renewed. There are many things to ask the Lord’s help with how he drew me away from the humanistic views of counseling, the powerful effects of scripture particularly the Proverbs, Psalms, the Gospels, and a renewed interest in the original languages. Ten-hour trip each way provided a lot of time with Him.

The major insight the Lord provided dealt with addictions and how to treat them. Eventually, the Lord directed the thesis showing the connection between religion and substance abuse. The State of Texas later published the results of the study. Yes, the Lord did that he revealed the connection and the difficulty it meant for religious people.

During this period, the Lord tore me away from Terrell and its ineffective manner of treating addiction. Finally, He gave me the strength to go into private practice. Which immediately meant that counseling had to be done his way. The Lord revealed time again how powerful the book of Psalms was in dealing with anxiety and panic attacks. Moreover, the key to solving problems would come from a strong emphasis on the book of Proverbs. I could not solve people’s problems but could give them the tools to do so themselves. Many of those directions are found in the other writings found on my website. But what is important is the Lord provided that direction and without it one was left with worldly wisdom. An aside, one might it interesting to look at the dates on each of those works.

Out of all the classes, and material offered the only value the Lord saw in any in any of it was the DSM- III, and the DSM-4, I will leave it to you to Google what they are. Their value came from the same directions the Lord gave Adam in the beginning. That was categorizing the animals, and the plant kingdom. Man does an excellent job in organizing and classifying in the psychology world, but not in treatment. The two scriptures that he led me to provides the rejection of humanistic treatment of addiction and the Lord’s method of treatment. Colossians 2:20-23 gives the rejection of humanistic solutions and Philippians 4:4-9 the solution.

The directions and interventions the Lord provided in this area of life merely strengthen my trust and direction which he provided. Through all of this I was always aware that the Lord was giving me the insights thus I never owned it for myself. So, this is the direction he gave me and the insights he provided by this prayer relationship. The booklets on the website provide in depth material on these insights.

The work with the police department was manifestly different in that the information was clear and instantaneous. Unfortunately, I must limit it to only 2 or three examples but understand these were regular occurrences. Understand these were parallel universes happening at the same time.

6-23-2022 – A Word to the Wise – I need to pause here and address the issue of what I call relationship prayer. So, what does it mean when one says the Lord talks to me? I think most Christians would be surprised to know the Lord talks to them all the time and they never considered it. By the way two others talk to us as well besides the Lord. We talk to ourselves; Satan talks to us.

Often when one speaks of their conscience they really have heard from the Lord.

Example you are in a store you look down and someone has dropped an envelope with a lot of money say $823.32. Three voices respond. Wow, look what I found. Here I was needing $832 for rent and the Lord showered it from heaven. That is self-talk. The Lord says, this belongs to someone else you must find the owner, (When I use the term LORD it refers to Jesus, God and or the Holy Spirit.) This is the Lord. The devil says finders’ keepers. Do you recognize it now?

Other examples from my life. Given my background I am very sensitive to loss. When I first married Satan told me” Mary will die before 20 years have passed. I thought it the Lord, I believed it and emotionally responded to it. Remember Satan can appear as an angel of light.

Twenty-one years later the Lord ask me “Where is Mary? She is in the kitchen Lord. I thought she was supposed to be dead! I immediately saw Satan’s lie and the profound affect it had on the marriage. Satan does things like this constantly.

So, the question comes how do you tell the three apart?

If your intent on having a prayer life you must keep I John 4:14 constantly in your awareness. John tells us how to discern the spirit. Daily acknowledging that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and came in the flesh this John tell us is how we test the source of what we hear.

Now there are some very specific things it is best to practice with this type of prayer life to avoid confusion and grow in faith.

1. If you keep a prayer journal, then you have a running record of what you have ask for and what the Lord has given or said to you. My mother always told me it is wise to write down what the Lord tells you because you will forget and its 10 years later before he tells you again.

2. A simple way of telling the source of an answer, or statement is the feeling attached to it. There are three distinct responses that accomplish answers. If it is the Lord, we feel a sense of peace we may not like it but there is a peaceful feeling attached to the words. If its self-talk, then a feeling of disconnect or questionable experience is felt inside oneself. If it is Satan, there is always agitation and anxiety.

3. You doubt Satan lies to you. Check Genesis 3 with Satan lying to Eve. Or look at the three friends of Job. Satan quoted scripture to them to confront Job, but their correction does not apply to Job. The temptation of Jesus is another example. exploring scripture, you find examples of lies, and truths all through scripture. So, discernment and the I John challenge passage helps distinguish the Lord’s words.

4. So how do you deal with a highly emotional situations and you must be certain the Lord has put it on your heart? You ask the Lord to verify the answer. You must not do that to everything he says because that is a lack of trust. This however is different. Again, you find these same situations where a decision had to be made in scripture, II Kings 22 is one example. Once you ask the Lord to verify the answer, he will put in the mouth of another person, in an event or even a dream sometimes repeating the dream. This is your verification it is best not to ignore or discount it.

Now we will return to where I dropped out of church, stopped praying. This lasted about seven years. What a total waste. Again, it was not a matter of faith I did not doubt for a second God’s power or glory just wanted nothing to do with people. See how he drew me back.

6-23-2022 – Continue On Prayer:

At this time a student came from Harding Graduate School trying to get students to go to Harding Graduate School. I told him absolutely not I was not interested. He proceeded to tell me about this famous Dr. Lewis. Lewis has two doctorate one from Harvard and the other from Hebrew Union. A genius. I do not care I do not want to be anywhere near the school, or him or Tennessee. Lord, I will not do it. The student even bragged how he got to eat dinner with Dr. Lewis one evening. Your wasting your breath go talk to Paul the missionary from the Philippines I have no interest moreover as for Dr. Lewis, I wish him the best but we will never meet.

Mother said ask the Lord. Now this is the problem the Lord tells you to do something, what choice do you have? I know why others don’t ask, out of sight out of mind.

So come September Mary, Tim and I headed to Harding, very reluctantly. The first morning I get to chapel early. No one is there, and no one knew me. I walk into the chapel looked at the back benched check the number of steps to the back exit, two steps on one side and three on the other. I sat on the one that was only 2 steps from the exit door. I would be out of that chapel with the amen. I did not want to meet anyone, know anyone, talk to anyone, just hide.

Service was fairly short, they said amen and I was out the back exit. I had gotten a dozen steps and I heard a voice say “Jerry”. I kept walking for two reasons. I hated my name always had and rarely answered to it. The second no one knew me, so they were not calling me. The voice said again Jerry. I turned and there was this short little man in the middle of the aisle, and he said to me I am Dr. Lewis, I need to talk to you. Of all the people that I did not want to talk to and how did he know my name?

I said yes sir walked in his office and saw my folder open on his desk. Wonderful I thought he read up on me, they know I do not belong here. He knows I was in the military and that is not popular right now. (Viet Nam had just ended) I will be going home, thank the Lord I never wanted to be here. Told you Lord I do not belong here. He picked up my folder and said I notice you made straight A’s in Hebrew and Greek, I need someone to work with my Hebrew class and teach it and grade paper when I am not here. LORD THIS IS NOT FUNNY!! I should have never ask the Lord what would be on that test. The school pays well. Here I sit in a tent in the State Park without a job or money for housing. What choice do I have?

The 3 years at Harding was the most difficult, trying, years of my life up to then. I will not say anything further about it.

By now you know how important prayer is before one makes a decision. I told you prayer makes things harder, not easier. But have I mention what terrible mistake one makes if they do not ask?

I had been seeking a church as a minister for a couple of months. I graduated. But still no job. I had to find a place to go. I received a call from a little town Rector Arkansas would I come and try out. so, Mary and I went. After services the elder met with me and said they want to hire me. I did not ask the Lord. I needed a job. I said yes. I got home and the phone rang and there was a college wanting me to come and talk to them about a Bible Chair Ministry. My heart sank. I had to say I could not come I had just accepted a position elsewhere. I hung up; Lord I know I should have asked you. The answer yes you should have.

I discovered just how terrible, backing biting, cruel, and liars Christians could be. We were there 3 months. On a Wednesday evening the elder came up and said there was some problems. I said what do you want me to do quit. He said yes, The next day the elder came up and I guess wanting to whitewash the matter. I made him tell me why? He said the woman next door accused me of making obscene phone calls to her. What? Of all the things I had done or considered doing phone calls was never one of them. Remember, Exhorter hate telephones, they want to talk to people face to face. Confronting the woman, she told the elder it was me, since I used the term ‘you know’ a lot. I investigated talk to the police chief found out the calls had been going on months before I got there. They gave me the date of the call, and I pointed out I was 800 miles away in another city doing a wedding. They did not care they just wanted me gone. I took a polygraph, innocent, nope I was guilty they wanted me gone. So, we sat in the house next to the church while I looked for a job. The members called me names and wanted me out of there. Rumors spread to Harding about my supposed phone calls. Found out later even the president of Harding was telling other teachers about what I had done. We finally took a church in Oklahoman. But it was much too late. I was sick of people who called themselves Christian. Within a year I quite the ministry altogether. All of this the consequences of not inquiring of the Lord.

I quit. Stopped going to church, stopped praying. The Lord most certainly would have his hands full getting me back.