Christian Family Services Ministry

3-31-2017 – A Word to the Wise: This process may be compared to a huge earth magnet. This magnet in our being attracts certain experiences and ignores others. It attracts those experiences relevant to the specific gift building on it and filling in the framework. That is what the gift does. It attracts itself to certain experiences, and rejects other events which do not fit its purpose.

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3-30-2017 – A Word to the Wise: The gifts actually filter experiences that form our environment, relationships, and experiences. This filtering begins at or near conception and continues to death.

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3-29-2017 – A Word to the Wise: In reality the Gifts are a framework upon which is built all future experiences. How a person expresses their gift reflects the Gift. Into this framework may be added the core for other talents or abilities. Thus each additional talent exists and functions within the framework provided by the Motivational gift.

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3-28-2017 – A Word to the Wise: The Motivational Gifts have their beginning from conception as purposed by the Lord before conception. This process occurs with each pregnancy and ensures that each human possesses a purpose and direction. Further, it may serve as a constant proof of the Creator’s personal interest in the child.

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3-11-2017 – A Word to the Wise: Or consider greed. Jesus said that it is easier for a camel to make it through the eye of a sewing needle than for the wealthy person to seek forgiveness. Thus, in many ways, immorality is easier to deal with and set aside. To the woman taken in adultery in John 8, Jesus simply says: “Go thee way and sin no more.” Contrast that with the paralyzed man of John 5, who was anger, bitter, friendless, and disloyal. Jesus warned him to stop it, or something even worse than a physical handicap, and total helpless would befall him. The man did not heed the warning; indeed, that very day he betrayed Jesus to His enemies. Some may wonder about grace. Grace does not remove the consequences, nor does it make the wrong right. Grace provides the strength to forsake the sin, and to acquire purity again before the Father. It does not justify us before men, for this grace is of God, not of man. Salvation is a spiritual experience more rarely than a physical one. Let’s face it: Ultimately it is what God thinks of us that is important. With the Lord, a new birth and a transformed life is possible.

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3-10-2017 – A Word to the Wise: Aftermath – I acknowledge that a rather dark picture has been painted of the consequences of immorality. Some may wonder if there is any hope. Yes, there is, but perhaps not in the direction one would think. Frequently, I give my clients an analogy to help them understand the difference between forgiveness and the price one pays. Let’s say someone gets into an argument with his or her spouse, gets very angry, leaves the house, and drives reckless hitting a bridge abutment. In the accident, the individual loses an arm and a spleen. The person is remorseful, asking forgiveness of the spouse and others. The forgiveness is granted. Does the arm then grow back? Does the spleen regenerate itself? No, the person will have to live with those losses. So it is with immorality. Once convicted by the Lord, one might not repeat the sin, but the consequences remain. The consequences are often so great that one says never again—that sin. Furthermore, of all the sins we may commit, it seems to me that immorality, once forgiven, is least likely to be repeated. Let me explain. With immorality, a person knows they have sinned. It is black or white. One is either moral or immoral. In contrast, with other sins, the dividing line may not be as clear, and frequently repentance is either seen as unnecessary or rejected all together. Take bitterness, for example. Most of us would deny being bitter. Even if we are convicted of it, there is a tendency to quickly justify or excuse it. Jesus spends nearly the whole chapter of Matthew 18 dealing with the subject. Finally, He closes the chapter by warning of the torment (anxiety, depression, and financial loss) one will suffer by holding onto bitterness.

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3-9-2017 – A Word to the Wise: Notice that phrase; “then Amnon hated her with very great hatred; so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her.” When we look at addictive sex patterns, as well as rape, this element of hate is always present. It drives the violence of rape, and the apathy of obsessive sexual encounters. What does premarital and extra marital sex mean in terms of a relationship? In a word; it means insecurity, constant comparison. With the man, the comparison is predominately physical; with the women, the comparison is romantic. In each case, conflict results. Proverbs 6:34 states that immorality makes a person furious and that there will be no mercy when they take revenge. Although man may have sex “to enlarge his domain,” promiscuous sex is destructive. It is destructive physically, in that one may acquire all manner of disease. It is destructive emotionally, because intimacy is impossible. It is destructive spiritually, since God’s Word expressly says that adultery will get one the hot place. The foolish man fails to recognize that this behavior robs him of his wealth, health, and heritage. When one joins himself or herself with another person sexually, I suspect the bonding goes far beyond simple sex. I believe St. Paul suggests this when speaking with the church in Corinth. There is a mental bonding that occurs between the two people. There is a meshing of two different philosophies of life, a joining of two different thought processes. From this union, no matter how brief the contact, the two take certain beliefs and manners of life from the other individual. It is easy for us to accept that we take from the other person any disease they may have or disease they have received from other sexual contacts. In much the same manner, we have received mental, spiritual, and emotional influence as well. Given the likelihood of certain perverse thinking patterns, this is not a very pleasant thought. When Paul addresses the consequences, they include an acceptance into one’s being of every person with whom one has had sex. A physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual part of each partner is now a part of you. Test this by briefly bringing to mind every person you might have been involved with. Can you sense the mental experience involved? Then recall details, the things the other person thought or shared? All of these pieces impact our own experience and responses. Our involvement may be regretted, but repentance does not wipe from our minds the process. If that person hated, we now carry a small part of that hate. If that person was paranoid, we now carry a piece of that fear. In the relationship that God prescribed, sex brings closeness and mutual intimacy. The two individuals in the union have intense needs for each other. With pornography or fornication, the emphasis is on physical satisfaction for entertainment, not real intimacy. Pornography both precedes and intensifies with immorality. Now some may be beguiled into thinking that pornography is a relatively recent invention in the history of mankind. However, pornography has been found in practically every major civilization extending back to the dawn of man with equally destructive results. While fornication destroys from the outside in, pornography destroys from the inward out. Perhaps soaps and romantic novels can be just as destructive for women as porn is for men. Why? Because both cause a person to disassociate from reality. The emotional destructiveness of immorality is apparent to all, but the effect is denied by most. Yet whether we acknowledge the results or not, the consequences remain not only for us but also for generations to come. In conclusion, we can say with a great deal of assurance that these seven areas of our lives—health, wealth, honor, reason, heritage, inheritance, and relationships—are deeply affected by immoral behavior.

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3-8-2017 – A Word to the Wise: Amnon and Tamar – Here we find all the elements of obsessiveness, stalking, and ultimately hatred. The year is about 990 B.C. King Ammon is David’s’ first-born son. Let’s let the text speak. 1Now Absalom, David’s son, had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar; and after a time Amnon, David’s son, loved her. 2And Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her. 3But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shime-ah, David’s brother; and Jonadab was a very crafty man. 4And he said to him, “O son of the king, why are you so haggard morning after morning? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom sister.” 5Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed, and pretend to be ill; and when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it from her hand.’” 6So Amnon lay down, and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Pray let my sister Tamar come and make a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.” 7Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Go to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.” 8So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house, where he was lying down. And she took dough, kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. 9And she took the pan and emptied it out before him, but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, “Send out every one from me.” So every one went out from him. 10Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the chamber, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother. 11But when she brought them near him to eat, he took hold of her, and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.” 12She answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me; for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this wanton folly. As for me, where could I carry my shame? And as for you, you would be as one of the wanton fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray you, speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.” 14But he would not listen to her; and being stronger than she, he forced her, and lay with her. 15Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred; so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone.” 16But she said to him, “No, my brother; for this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other which you did to me.”􀁽 But he would not listen to her. 17He called the young man who served him and said, “Put this woman out of my presence, and bolt the door after her.”

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3-7-2017 – A Word to the Wise: Genesis 19 presents us with the situation of Lot, the nephew of Abraham. Lot has made his home in the most immoral center of its time, Sodom. The Lord sends two angels to investigate the situation, and here is what they find. No sooner do they arrive in the city than Lot himself meets them at the city gates and begs them to come home and spend the evening with him. They at first refuse but finally relent at his urging. After eating, but just before retiring, some of the outstanding citizens of the town start beating on the door, demanding that the visitors come out and play sex games with them. Well, it gets worse. The whole town seems to eventually get in on the fun surrounding the house and demanding the visitors be sent out for their sexual pleasure. Lot, a leading citizen goes out, and begs them to go away and leave his visitors alone. He even offers to send his virgin daughters out for their pleasure, just to have them leave these men alone. This intervention on Lot’s part merely serves to infuriate the city further, and they start to break down the door. Nothing stops their demands to fill their sexual appetite. Notice the obsessions of these people, the possessive demands and eventual death threats. As one reads the passage, the naked violence of the situation reveals itself. The air is filled with criminal intent, and nothing will deter them. The very next chapter reveals another situation involving Abraham. Here Abraham goes on a journey into the Negev or southern part of Palestine. Upon reaching Gerar, Abraham realizes the violent potential of the inhabitants of this city, and he decides it is best to protect his wife and himself (mainly himself) by referring to his wife as his sister. Subsequently, the King of the place decides to take Sarah to be his wife.The text says that God appears to the king of that town, Abimelech, and tells him that he is a dead man for taking Sarah, for she is Abraham’s wife. Abimelech is frightened and begs, then demands, that Abraham take her back and get her out of his house. Note the recurring element of potential violence over sexual possession, abandonment on Abraham’s part, and threat of death. By the way, this is the second time Abraham has pulled this stunt. The results were the same both times. An episode with Joseph puts a little different spin on the story in Genesis 39, when Joseph is approached by a sex-crazed woman (whose husband was the state executioner of Egypt). She will not leave Joseph alone. Eventually, she traps Joseph in the house, and he barely escapes half-naked. The husband finds out and throws Joseph in prison. Again, we see the elements of obsessiveness, rejection, possessiveness, and threat of death. These are just a few examples revealing the same patterns in sexual behavior existing for four millennia. In each of these circumstances, we find conflict and violence. Let’s now look at another biblical passage, which reveals the base emotion of obsessiveness and its subsequent outcome.A

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3-6-2017 – A Word to the Wise: Thus, if two people live together before marriage, they find after marriage that no fitting took place before the marriage because there was no commitment, and therefore no surrendering. If sex occurred with someone else, the fitting process is also affected. One of the most unusual passages on immorality that has perplexed me for years is found in I Corinthians 6:18, where Paul warns the Corinthian church about illicit intercourse when he says:” Do you not know that he whoever joins himself to a prostitute becomes one body with her?” That phrase, I have come to understand, has many ramifications. A cursory review of different immoral situations in scripture reveals some astounding similarities. Notice these similar qualities: obsessiveness, rejection, abandonment, jealousy, threat of death, or death. Vital consequences may be seen in relationships when moral laws are violated. Nor should it be surprising that those involved in immorality frequently find themselves caught up in violent interaction. Twenty-seven hundred years ago, scripture warned that violence and immorality go hand in hand.

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