Christian Family Services Ministry

8-30-2022 – A Word to the Wise – LET’S CONSIDER ABANDOMENT

Abandonment may begin as early as the womb. If the mother attempts or has a deep desire to murder the unborn child. If the child is given up for adoption, or if there is divorce or desertion by either birth parent. Abuse or neglect also by either parent always introduces the feelings as well. It may occur at any age however it is most intense in early age.

Abandonment is to be distinguished from rejection. The latter will be addressed later.

This situation is a disturbing painful sensation and brings on a very strong intense emotional reaction which begins immediately and continues throughout life. When the reaction is first experienced three things occur.

First the child experiences a wild uncontrolled sensation. It is a tremendous shock to the whole system. From that moment on the experience is relived over and over again.

When it is first felt the child has another experience in the spirit. The spirit of the living God offers consolation. On the other hand, the Satan tells the child a lie. The lie leads to a decision by the child to respond in a specific manner every time it is felt.

Obviously, I am using non-technical language to describe what goes on and how it is handled by the child. However, some examples of reactions may be learning disorders, communication disorders, pervasive development disorders, attention-deficit disorders, elimination disorders and many other problems. With me it is learning disorder, and attention- deficit problems.

So, what is the lie? It may be several things. Worthlessness will often be part of the experience. The child will mount a defense. The younger the child the more intense the reaction throughout life.

The reaction typically being observed by others will appear unusual, odd, and misunderstood. The child themselves rarely recognizes the root problem and does not know how to resolve it. The lie is powerful and its effect intense.

TO BE CONTINUED

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8-22-2022 – A Word to the Wise – One sure reality is Satan takes that which is good and twists and corrupts it. So that is why we tend to have many wise sayings which in appearance seem good but when they become rules, they tend to be destructive.

Examples please?

It is not only a popular saying but a matter which has become a rule or demand in one’s marriage. “The man is the spiritual leader of the home.” Seems like a good idea and to some extent perhaps accurate.

However, it is not substantiated by scripture nor is it necessarily accurate or necessary. Reality demands that leadership in the home is static. Over a long period of time leadership shifts back and forth moving with environment, status of the family, difficulties, illness and even death. The leader is one who God inspires to lead.

Another ‘good saying’ is “We never argue in front of the kids. “Yip we may disagree, but with the kids we always present a united front. “

The child will see this as hypocrisy. First kids know what is going on in the family. They even know when the parents have sex and when they don’t and have a good understanding of who and what is wise and what is foolish.

The need for the child is to see how parents may see things differently but still cooperate. How one does not lord over the other or demand their way.

Right along with this is the idea that parents are not or should not be partial. That is an outright lie as well; parents are partial. Whether they admit it or not. It might be on account of birth order, the sex of the child, or even the abilities of the child.

However, parent should not show or be partial in judgment, discipline, or correction.

When a parent and child have the same gift, they feel a bond that the other child may not experience. Impartiality demands giving attention to both, training both, and leading both.

Yes, Satan sure knows how to corrupt and mislead the unwary person.

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8-5-2022 – Mother’s article

WHAT IS A MOTHER

Della Howell

Motherhood is an important question to almost every woman, because most of us become mothers while we live on this earth. The dictionary tells us a mother is a woman who has given birth to a child. The law of our country tells us that she is a woman having the responsibility and authority of a mother. The poets tell us she is someone to be adored and idolized for her special kind of love.

But to each of us as individuals, what is a mother? Many of us indirectly answer this question every day as we try to cope with our children’s questions about life, as we try to make decisions concerning what they should or should not do, even by the very manner in which we care for their daily needs.

As a mother of five children, I would like to share with you some of the things I have found being a mother to mean. First I found being a mother meant I was completely responsible for every need of another human being. It was up to me to see that his body was kept clean , that he was fed when he was hungry, and that he was cared for when he was sick.

In order to fill this place a mother I quickly learned I could never be first again in my own desires. It had to be the end of self. Never again was I to be able to do exactly what I wanted to do, exactly when I wanted to do it.

The second thing I learned about a mother is that she is unselfish with her material possessions. The needs of her child always come first. Never again were my material possession my own. I found that the money I perhaps was saving for some new kitchen curtains was needed to buy my child some shoes. Or maybe the new dress I had hoped for payday had to be forgotten because of my child needed to see the doctor.

The third and the greatest thing of all I learned about a mother is that she has the care and guidance of a living soul. Its resting place in eternity will largely be decided by its mother. To feel and know the meaning of this thought is the most fearful things I have ever experienced as a mother.

I had been the means of bringing a new living soul into the world. Surely as a mother I must give some thought to what would happen to this soul when it left the world. Only God could help me with my problem, so I turned to the Word of God to find how to care for a living soul.

The first thing I learned about caring for this soul was that I must teach him about God. As a parent I was to bring him up in the nurture and admonition of God. (Deut. 6:4-9, Eph. 6:4). Therefore, if a mother is going to be able to teach, she herself must study. How can a mother tell her child about a God whom she herself does not know?

A mother teaches her child in two ways—by words and by actions. Through the word, she begins by teaching that God is, that He does exist. She introduces him to God through His creation. He is made aware of the marvelous universe God has prepared for him to dwell in, respect, and enjoy.

This is the beginning of a child’s reverence toward God. As he is impressed with His greatness and power through all He has made including himself, he too begins to share his mother’s awe and respect. As he grows, she tells the child of God’s love for him; that God loved him so much He gave His son Jesus to die for his sins. She explains Jesus loves him. He loved him so much he was willing to be his sacrifice, to die on the cross for his sins.

A mother thus lays the foundation for the personal relationship of her child with his God. We must also make our child understand that he has a part to do, too-; he must always understand that God’s love cannot save him if he does not obey God.

In the early beginning to obey God means the child doesn’t lie; he doesn’t steal; he doesn’t mistreat others. He must understand God’s moral law. But this is not enough. As he grows, he must understand that although God made all of us and loves us, we become His children only by giving our life to Christ. We explain he can accomplish this by hearing God’s Word (Rom. 10:17); believing in God (Heb. 11:6); repenting of his sins (Luke 13) confessing Christ before men (Rom. 10:10):; being baptized into Christ (Acts 2:38).

He must understand when he has completed these steps, then and only then, will God add him to his family. His Church. He has been born again, he is now a child of God. This is his part in forming an eternal relationship with his God.

And last, a mother is a Christian herself, a living example of what she would have her child be. She is strong in faith, humble in obedience, faithful in service and sensitive to the needs of others. She guides her household to God because she depends upon God.

She teaches her household to pray because she reveals God’s power by the use of prayer. She teaches her household hope because her goals are based upon it. She teaches respect because she is obedient. She teaches love because she is compassionate. She guides her household, not by the law of authority, but by the example of love and obedience. All of a mothers’ actions will reveal her attitudes. As she worships God, studies and obeys His Word, fills her life with kind deeds, patiently teaches and care for her child he will know that she trust in God.

Yes, I found that a mother is a woman with a special kind of love—So special that only God can teach it to her.

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8-1-2022 – A Word to the Wise – It has always amazed me what one may learn from the battles of the Old Testament. Take Hazor as an example.

Jabin the king of Hazor hearing of the defeat at the hand of the Israelites of the other armies calls together kings from the North, South, East, and West, a huge force to do battle with the Israeli threat. The Bible puts the number as the sand of seashore. Now they are faced with an additional threat. One Israel had not yet faced on the battlefield; horses, and chariots, many horses and chariots.

The Lord warns Joshua the night before that he will be facing this army (Joshua 11:6). At the same time, the Lord tells Joshua something that is unbelievable. Joshua when the battle is over and I the Lord deliver them up to you dead then burn their chariots and hamstring their horses.

This is amazing because this was the foremost weapon on the battlefield. Strength and wealth are determined by the possession of the chariot. It would be like telling a commander today, who had no battle tanks that after winning a major engagement with an enemy who possessed many tanks, after the battle to destroy them instead of keeping them.

These directions are the key to the future success of Israel. Maintaining a chariot force is expensive. It calls for equipment and tools beyond the wealth of Israel. Moreover, tactically the Lord wanted Israel fighting in the mountains and the chariot was useless in this environment.

Now Joshua faces a campaign against an enemy who used methods he had not been prepared to counter. What is he do?

The first thing the Lord says to Joshua is “do not be afraid.” The central focus of God’s army is not to fear. Do you hear that? Do not fear the enemy.

Then God tells him why. Tomorrow at this time means this is going to be a shorter battle than the last one. The other cardinal rule attack the enemy when and where he least expects it.

I wonder if we have ever attacked our enemy in our spiritual wars when he is unprepared. Have we ever destroyed the weapons Satan fashions against us?

Jabin has chosen the Waters of Merom as a gathering place for his allies. It is an excellent choice. It provides a good resting place for the armies while they are gathering.

Merom is a central point of Israel. All the roads to Israel’s heartland meet at Merom. Jabin plans are almost complete. All the allies have gathered. The horses are grazing and the army is making final plans for the attack.

Waters of Merom are located in a deep ravine with mountains rising on every side. The perfect battleground for which Joshua has been trained. Sure, enough Joshua comes pouring down on the enemy from the south driving the enemy North and East their chariots of no use in this mountainous boulder filled battlefield by the end of the day the enemy force has been destroyed. Then following another cardinal rule Joshua does not stop. They invade the defenseless Hazor and destroy it along with all of the cities inhabited by the kings just defeated.

For five long years, the major armies and cities were decimated and lay waste. None offered to surrender or make peace save the Hivites at Gibeon. Scripture says as a concluding remark about Joshua, “he left nothing undone of all that the Lord had commanded Moses.” (Joshua 11:15)

A lesson for us is in that remark. One does not stop when the enemy is defeated you take all that belongs to him. Destroy all the strongholds of Satan and he has nothing to return to. Our great temptation is to leave our houses of addiction, immorality, greed, and idolatry standing. Doing so dooms us to fight another day, and another. How many battles do we have to fight over and over because we do not fight by the Lord’s standards?

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