Christian Family Services Ministry

7-23-2022 – A Word to the Wise – Gifts continued

By looking at the pairs that are the same you begin to see the problems when it comes to marriage. Let’s start with two Prophets.

When they have children, one begins to see the severity of the problem. If their children are not Prophets, then the child is subject to intense scrutiny everything the child does is right or wrong with nothing in between. No one can intervene for the child. The self-critical nature of the Prophet intensifies the self-conflict leading to poor self-images. But most problematic is the severity of discipline and the demands for perfection. If the children’s gifts are Mercy or Exhorter, the impact is greatest.

So, let’s take the other extreme if both individuals are Mercies. Under these circumstances you have undisciplined children for Mercies rarely discipline. But what about the marriage? Neither are leaders, both are slow to act both avoid using words to confront or hurt. The biggest problem is that both tend to make decisions on emotions and not principles.

Do you see the pattern here? The strong attributes rule out effective judgement. The weak attributes cancel out the value of the Gift. The only Gift which is able to marry is the Exhorter. The problem here however is that two helpers are helping each other, and the focus of attention is on their relationship and others do not receive the benefit of the Gift.

This is the problem when the Gifts are the same what is the results if you mix non emotional with emotional Gifts? Under these circumstances other problems occurs. This group also makes up most of my clients.

The first circumstance is the Prophet married to a Mercy. Seventy per cent of the time these two marry. While both have the emotional quality in all other respects, they are opposite. The positive aspect of this union is the children have the benefit of good discipline, usually.