Christian Family Services Ministry

1-18-2019 – A Word to the Wise – On occasion I feel compelled to address a problem in the sexual area. Some are uncomfortable with this so I give you forewarning so you may turn aside. Ready?
For those of you that have a spouse struggling with pornography I want to suggest a test. I say struggle because I would suspect that you wish to be rid of it. I will give you a good reason.
Has it occurred to you that your struggle with lust may be physical, emotionally, and spiritually affecting your spouse? To put it a different way, perhaps you are making your spouse sick with this practice. If that is happening let’s try a simple test.
Perhaps you do not want your spouse to know it, so you do not speak of it. Under these circumstances keep the results to yourself.
Here is the test and its justification. Test three different areas for degree of mental, physical, or spiritual distress.
On a scale of 0 to 5 (0 the least, 5 the greatest) degree anxiety/frustration experienced today/yesterday. Question 2. On a scale of 0 to 5 a similar scale, the degree of physical pain experienced today/yesterday.
Same scale disturbance in the spiritual life or avoidance of spiritual things. I would suggest that you run the test for 30 days unless it is obvious that the pain is intense.
The possibility may exist that the spouse is actually sexually involved with someone else, if that is the case the outcome will be the same.
Here is the reasoning behind the test. Scripture makes it clear that a married couple is one flesh. That means what one experiences the other experiences the consequences as well.

Proverbs 5-7 clearly state the physical consequences for sexual sin.

Anxiety, anger, build up and even the most naïve counselor will tell you the results are illness. But one may say what of the spouse male or female that withholds a sexual relationship does this not cause illness as well? Yes, but that is a topic for another day.

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1-12-2019 – A Word to the Wise – For those drenched in feelings of loneliness it is important to understand that one has an open invitation from the Lord
to walk with Him.

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1-8-2019 – A Word to the Wise: HUMILITY
The highest kind of love has its root in humility. It is not difficult to learn the first part of mature love. That love which is able to deny self and care for the welfare of others. Particularly does this love come naturally when expressed for loved ones. Some even may feel genuine love and concern for humanity in general.
But when we get to the kind of love that is able to love our enemies, we find we are over our heads. Here we find it necessary to have a deeper, stronger character than we have ever imagined. This type of love demands strength that is only acquired through humility.
Who is my enemy one might say. Everyone who opposes the cross of Christ Jesus. Whether that be husband, child, mother or father, or even self at times. Every attitude or behavior regardless the owner that challenges the Lord is an enemy of the Lord. How is that enemy to be treated? Better than mother, or father, brother and sister. Where does one get the strength, the courage, the stamina, to stand against evil? Those traits flow from the quality of humility.
Humility can only be established by our personal relationship with God. When I behold God as my creator and really feel the significance of being the created, the honor of God becomes real; the acceptance of self inevitable. Out of all of this comes the humility that enables me to love my enemy.
Humility gives one a sense of worth, because it has its roots in ones’ relationship with God. Now many confuse feeling worthless with being humble. However, there is no spiritual relationship between worthlessness and humility. Every man has his own gifts of God. To deny them, to call them worthless would be to defame God. Humility is knowing whom and what you are before God.
Test what I say. Love your neighbor as yourself. Now if you are worthless you would see him also as worthless, but if you see your worth then you can also acknowledge his. This is a very basic step in gaining humility
Many people have such a case of inferiority though that they are afraid to approach humility. Inferiority like worthlessness is unrelated to humility. God never said man was worthless — he said he was helpless. He never said we were inferior rather he created us superior to all of his creatures. That superiority is not for the purpose of ruling over but to care for and protect.

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