Christian Family Services Ministry

7-9-2019 – A Word to the Wise – I offer for consideration parts of a prayer offered by Peter Marshall, chaplain of the U.S. Senate in 1949.

“Our Father, we pray for this land…May we begin to see that all true Americanism begins in being Christian: that it can have no other foundation, as it has no other roots. To thy glory was this Republic established. For the advancement of the Christian faith did the Founding Fathers give their life’s heritage, passed
down to us.

Bless this land that we love so much, our Father, and help her deposit her trust, not in armies, and navies, in wealth and material resources, or in achievements of the human mind, but in that righteousness which alone exalteth any nation, and by which alone peace can finally come to us. This we ask in that name that is above every name, thy Son, Jesus Christ, our Redeemer. Amen.
(The Prayers of Peter Marshall, by Catherine Marshall)

6-21-2019 – A Word to the Wise: Additional Comments on Devotional Charts

Some additional comments as to the use of the chart in the home. One might consider 2 jars for each child and or parent. The first jar holds the money earned daily. At the end of each week or month as determined by the family the funds are dispersed and the child puts 10% in a second jar towards savings. This teaches a child to learn to have a savings.
Second the child if they so desire may tithe 10%. Now the tendency is to force the child to tithe. This is a mistake. They do it by choice. The parent notices if the child indeed does tithe if so they add $1 to the jar of those tithing.
What happens over a period time with these 2nd jars, the non-tithers observe that the tithers funds grow at a much great rate than their own. It is not brought to the attention of the child they see it for themselves.
In this process you have taught the child to be a good steward by saving and tithing.
Again it must be emphasized that the parent must begin the whole process by going to a bank and obtaining at least a month supply of dimes per each child so they will have it on hand. The emphasis here is on instant reward. At the end of each time period they may exchange the dimes for bills and thus conserve the dimes and reuse if so desired.
Again the overall lesson here is you are teaching the child that good behavior is rewarding which is the same lesson the Lord teaches all mankind. (Deuteronomy 28:1-16, Hebrews 11:6).

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6-21-2019 – A Word to the Wise: Additional Comments on Devotional Charts

Some additional comments as to the use of the chart in the home. One might consider 2 jars for each child and or parent. The first jar holds the money earned daily. At the end of each week or month as determined by the family the funds are dispersed and the child puts 10% in a second jar towards savings. This teaches a child to learn to have a savings.
Second the child if they so desire may tithe 10%. Now the tendency is to force the child to tithe. This is a mistake. They do it by choice. The parent notices if the child indeed does tithe if so they add $1 to the jar of those tithing.
What happens over a period time with these 2nd jars, the non-tithers observe that the tithers funds grow at a much great rate than their own. It is not brought to the attention of the child they see it for themselves.
In this process you have taught the child to be a good steward by saving and tithing.
Again it must be emphasized that the parent must begin the whole process by going to a bank and obtaining at least a month supply of dimes per each child so they will have it on hand. The emphasis here is on instant reward. At the end of each time period they may exchange the dimes for bills and thus conserve the dimes and reuse if so desired.
Again the overall lesson here is you are teaching the child that good behavior is rewarding which is the same lesson the Lord teaches all mankind. (Deuteronomy 28:1-16, Hebrews 11:6).

6-15-2019 – A Word to the Wise: On Sex

As startling as it may seem those who misuse, and abuse sex have no real knowledge of sex. Since sex was created by the Lord not Satan, true understanding must flow from the source. Certain things are known about God and may be trusted. God does not reveal his truths to the evil one, nor in the hands of the evil one will one discover the paths of life. One must seek knowledge of sex from its Creator, not its perverter. God is the source of all knowledge. I do not think for a moment that He would trust such knowledge to such wickedness. He gives it to the person who in marriage needs and desires such wisdom.

Satan knows he cannot duplicate this sense of pleasure and contentment. Thus, he masks the purpose of sex by focusing on the outward appearance of the woman entangling the man in a web of lies. These lies lead to sexual addiction, for the imitation lacks the satisfaction of the real thing. The real thing is fulfilling companionship. Because Satan’s substitute does not work, it is sought many times in hopes of attaining that which it promises, but fails to deliver. Satan perverts good and delivers as a substitute an immoral act incapable of providing a real sense of companionship. Rather it provides just the opposite–a deep sense of emptiness and loneliness making one famished and yearning even more intensely.

It is quite simple. After the sex act, the man is drawn frighteningly close to the person. This happens because God created the yearning for companionship in man’s spirit. The strength of these feelings equals that experienced in any addiction. Addiction proceeds from the mind or heart. Addictions diminish the yearning for companionship as found in the marital relationship.

The yearning for companionship is sewn into the fabric of man’s spirit, and is a kin to the experience of worship. The fear man experiences in the sex act accounts both for the desire for immoral relationships (because closeness is not required) and explains why sex outside of marriage is so different from sex in marriage. For the women the chief fear in sex is that the man will possess her, consume her, own her, and not honor his debt to her.

Outside of marriage, man has sex with a woman for much the same reason a dog urinates on every tree or car in the neighborhood. It enlarges his domain. The woman on the other hand

is promiscuous because she desires to destroy man. I doubt that a man knows this. She innately knows that promiscuous sex is destructive, destructive physically, in that one may acquire all manner of disease, destructive emotionally because intimacy is impossible and it is destructive spiritually since God’s Word expressly says that adultery will get one the hot place. The foolish man fails to recognize that this behavior robs him of his wealth, health, and heritage.

Moreover, the result of immorality for the man is anger towards women. This anger may be displaced to another object, but it is rooted in the sexual relationship

Why is illicit sex a source of anger? (Illicit sex as used here means sex outside of marriage, or unpaid or perverse in marriage). Because it is like stealing, and there is no outlet for the emotions experienced. While when one has premarital sex with the future wife, it is problematic, it hardly compares with the devastation of multiple sex partners. The latter leads to each sex partner having a stake or claim on a part of the sinner’s soul, which he or she can sell, or trade to Satan.

The man owes a debt to the woman he has sex with in marriage or out of marriage. The woman senses this. If the debt is unpaid in marriage then bitterness accrues with the wife. Lack of payment in non -marital circumstances frequently finds immediate consequences.

The debt may be paid at the discretion of the woman in one of the following ways. First, it may be paid physically. One example of this is the man sees that the woman is fulfilled sexually. It may be paid for materialistically, that is through money or gifts. It may be paid for emotionally, that is by meeting needs of affection or other emotional needs of the woman. The debt is best paid through all these means

Now immorality never pays the full debt incurred. The failure to pay the debt in full results in an outstanding unpaid debt. Satan has a stake in that wherever there is an unpaid debt; he may step in, and buy out the debt and become the lien holder.

Men tend to not take the indebtedness seriously. A woman takes it very seriously, and will extract her price by one means or another, even if it means selling the debt to Satan. How does she do this? One method is bitterness. The other is cursing the man; a curse that is without cause has no effect. However, one that does have cause will bring harm, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Examples can be seen in sexually transmitted disease, mental and emotional illness, and spiritual weakness. One should not assume these are the only consequences. Ultimately, immorality utterly destroys the individual. (Proverbs 5)

So we have a choice to make what kind of life will we live? How moral, or immoral will we be in what we think, or how we behave.

Read Full Post »

6-15-2019 – A Word to the Wise: On Sex

As startling as it may seem those who misuse, and abuse sex have no real knowledge of sex. Since sex was created by the Lord not Satan, true understanding must flow from the source. Certain things are known about God and may be trusted. God does not reveal his truths to the evil one, nor in the hands of the evil one will one discover the paths of life. One must seek knowledge of sex from its Creator, not its perverter. God is the source of all knowledge. I do not think for a moment that He would trust such knowledge to such wickedness. He gives it to the person who in marriage needs and desires such wisdom.

Satan knows he cannot duplicate this sense of pleasure and contentment. Thus, he masks the purpose of sex by focusing on the outward appearance of the woman entangling the man in a web of lies. These lies lead to sexual addiction, for the imitation lacks the satisfaction of the real thing. The real thing is fulfilling companionship. Because Satan’s substitute does not work, it is sought many times in hopes of attaining that which it promises, but fails to deliver. Satan perverts good and delivers as a substitute an immoral act incapable of providing a real sense of companionship. Rather it provides just the opposite–a deep sense of emptiness and loneliness making one famished and yearning even more intensely.

It is quite simple. After the sex act, the man is drawn frighteningly close to the person. This happens because God created the yearning for companionship in man’s spirit. The strength of these feelings equals that experienced in any addiction. Addiction proceeds from the mind or heart. Addictions diminish the yearning for companionship as found in the marital relationship.

The yearning for companionship is sewn into the fabric of man’s spirit, and is a kin to the experience of worship. The fear man experiences in the sex act accounts both for the desire for immoral relationships (because closeness is not required) and explains why sex outside of marriage is so different from sex in marriage. For the women the chief fear in sex is that the man will possess her, consume her, own her, and not honor his debt to her.

Outside of marriage, man has sex with a woman for much the same reason a dog urinates on every tree or car in the neighborhood. It enlarges his domain. The woman on the other hand

is promiscuous because she desires to destroy man. I doubt that a man knows this. She innately knows that promiscuous sex is destructive, destructive physically, in that one may acquire all manner of disease, destructive emotionally because intimacy is impossible and it is destructive spiritually since God’s Word expressly says that adultery will get one the hot place. The foolish man fails to recognize that this behavior robs him of his wealth, health, and heritage.

Moreover, the result of immorality for the man is anger towards women. This anger may be displaced to another object, but it is rooted in the sexual relationship

Why is illicit sex a source of anger? (Illicit sex as used here means sex outside of marriage, or unpaid or perverse in marriage). Because it is like stealing, and there is no outlet for the emotions experienced. While when one has premarital sex with the future wife, it is problematic, it hardly compares with the devastation of multiple sex partners. The latter leads to each sex partner having a stake or claim on a part of the sinner’s soul, which he or she can sell, or trade to Satan.

The man owes a debt to the woman he has sex with in marriage or out of marriage. The woman senses this. If the debt is unpaid in marriage then bitterness accrues with the wife. Lack of payment in non -marital circumstances frequently finds immediate consequences.

The debt may be paid at the discretion of the woman in one of the following ways. First, it may be paid physically. One example of this is the man sees that the woman is fulfilled sexually. It may be paid for materialistically, that is through money or gifts. It may be paid for emotionally, that is by meeting needs of affection or other emotional needs of the woman. The debt is best paid through all these means

Now immorality never pays the full debt incurred. The failure to pay the debt in full results in an outstanding unpaid debt. Satan has a stake in that wherever there is an unpaid debt; he may step in, and buy out the debt and become the lien holder.

Men tend to not take the indebtedness seriously. A woman takes it very seriously, and will extract her price by one means or another, even if it means selling the debt to Satan. How does she do this? One method is bitterness. The other is cursing the man; a curse that is without cause has no effect. However, one that does have cause will bring harm, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Examples can be seen in sexually transmitted disease, mental and emotional illness, and spiritual weakness. One should not assume these are the only consequences. Ultimately, immorality utterly destroys the individual. (Proverbs 5)

So we have a choice to make what kind of life will we live? How moral, or immoral will we be in what we think, or how we behave.

6-13-2019 – A Word to the Wise: Family Devotional Chart

What follows is a modified family chart that I use in counseling to help families with children. It is effective over a long period of time with character development. I suggest you stay with it 3 months just like it is to see if it works for your family. No attention is given for negative or failure to give a positive reply.

Now here is the important part. Through experience I have learned that reward is very important. For each child you have a jar with the child’s name on it. For every positive answer you immediately put a dime in the child’s jar. No IOU’s, no “I will give it at the end of the week.” It is an immediate reward for a positive reply. Further financial suggestion will follow at the conclusion.

Here are the questions and method to be used: Each child will have one of the inexpensive composition books available at dollar stores or Walmart for .88 cents. In the chart they will keep verses and records.

The first two questions are Have you written the verse in Proverbs today. The second is Have you written the verse from the Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount today?

This requires the child to handwrite out one verse starting with chapter 10 of Proverbs. Each written verse is preceded by the child’s name. Example: Proverbs 10:1 “John, A wise son (or daughter) makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother”.

The verse is written in the composition notebook. It is dated. If written the child immediately gets ten cents. The second verse comes from starting with Matthew 5 verse 3: John (or the child’s own name), Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs are the kingdom of heaven.” If written the child receives a dime immediately.

The next questions follow with the child receiving a dime immediately for each positive answer.

I have been obedient today.

I have written one verse from Proverbs today,

I have written one verse from the Sermon on the Mount today. (Matthew chapter 5-7.)

I have been kind to others today.

I have praised someone today.

I have been honest today.

I have restrained my anger today.

Tell about a good deed done today.

I have told someone thank you today.

I have prayed today.

At the end of the week if there is more than one child in the family each child will take $1 from their jar for each of the other children and give it to them. This behavior teaches the child to give and receive. Obviously nothing is actually lost or gained in the process. At the end of the month the funds in the jar are removed by the child and spent in an appropriate manner. Now I have addressed this for the children. The adults are welcome to include themselves as well. It is imperative to have the change on hand before you begin.

All the verses will be written in the journal, dated and the care giver will record the total amount paid out in the child’s journal at the end of each session.

Now the reasoning for rewarding in this manner. First the child eventually connects good behavior with reward. The amount is not important what is important is the immediate reward.

Some will question the reward system. Let me remind you that it is how the Lord deals with us. Hebrews 11:6 “For without faith it is impossible to please him. For whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. (RSV) You find the same thing in Deuteronomy 28:1-16.

The child learns over a period of time there is a reward for kindness, generosity, godliness.

Read Full Post »

6-13-2019 – A Word to the Wise: Family Devotional Chart

What follows is a modified family chart that I use in counseling to help families with children. It is effective over a long period of time with character development. I suggest you stay with it 3 months just like it is to see if it works for your family. No attention is given for negative or failure to give a positive reply.

Now here is the important part. Through experience I have learned that reward is very important. For each child you have a jar with the child’s name on it. For every positive answer you immediately put a dime in the child’s jar. No IOU’s, no “I will give it at the end of the week.” It is an immediate reward for a positive reply. Further financial suggestion will follow at the conclusion.

Here are the questions and method to be used: Each child will have one of the inexpensive composition books available at dollar stores or Walmart for .88 cents. In the chart they will keep verses and records.

The first two questions are Have you written the verse in Proverbs today. The second is Have you written the verse from the Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount today?

This requires the child to handwrite out one verse starting with chapter 10 of Proverbs. Each written verse is preceded by the child’s name. Example: Proverbs 10:1 “John, A wise son (or daughter) makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother”.

The verse is written in the composition notebook. It is dated. If written the child immediately gets ten cents. The second verse comes from starting with Matthew 5 verse 3: John (or the child’s own name), Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs are the kingdom of heaven.” If written the child receives a dime immediately.

The next questions follow with the child receiving a dime immediately for each positive answer.

I have been obedient today.

I have written one verse from Proverbs today,

I have written one verse from the Sermon on the Mount today. (Matthew chapter 5-7.)

I have been kind to others today.

I have praised someone today.

I have been honest today.

I have restrained my anger today.

Tell about a good deed done today.

I have told someone thank you today.

I have prayed today.

At the end of the week if there is more than one child in the family each child will take $1 from their jar for each of the other children and give it to them. This behavior teaches the child to give and receive. Obviously nothing is actually lost or gained in the process. At the end of the month the funds in the jar are removed by the child and spent in an appropriate manner. Now I have addressed this for the children. The adults are welcome to include themselves as well. It is imperative to have the change on hand before you begin.

All the verses will be written in the journal, dated and the care giver will record the total amount paid out in the child’s journal at the end of each session.

Now the reasoning for rewarding in this manner. First the child eventually connects good behavior with reward. The amount is not important what is important is the immediate reward.

Some will question the reward system. Let me remind you that it is how the Lord deals with us. Hebrews 11:6 “For without faith it is impossible to please him. For whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. (RSV) You find the same thing in Deuteronomy 28:1-16.

The child learns over a period of time there is a reward for kindness, generosity, godliness.

6-12-2019 – A Word to the Wise: It is so often we hear unwise statement and we believe and are seduced by them. Example, I hear it all the time: “You must love unconditionally.

This lie only benefits the addict, the selfish, the self-serving. Love is not based on who or what a person is rather on their creation. Love should not be expected, nor demanded.

Moreover, the Lord God does not love unconditionally He does not expect his children to love unconditionally.. Remember, “If you love me you will obey my commandments.” That is not unconditional.

It should be apparent that we ought to discern wisely the things we hear, and proclaim.

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6-12-2019 – A Word to the Wise: It is so often we hear unwise statement and we believe and are seduced by them. Example, I hear it all the time: “You must love unconditionally.

This lie only benefits the addict, the selfish, the self-serving. Love is not based on who or what a person is rather on their creation. Love should not be expected, nor demanded.

Moreover, the Lord God does not love unconditionally He does not expect his children to love unconditionally.. Remember, “If you love me you will obey my commandments.” That is not unconditional.

It should be apparent that we ought to discern wisely the things we hear, and proclaim.

6-11-2019 – A Word to the Wise: FORGIVENESS – What is forgiveness? It is difficult to explain? Why? Because we tend to take it so lightly when it is required for us, but a scathing, scalding bitter pill when it is required of us. The more serious the offense against us the more searing the pain to forgive.
So how does one obtain the humility, and the humanity to forgive serious ills against? Perhaps it takes a deeper personal awareness of what Jesus did for us on the cross. See, it is the same forgiveness we give, that we receive.
It is knowing to the depth of our being that suffering for another builds character and stamina within ourselves. This new found character leads to awareness of just how deep the Fathers love is for His children.
It does not make forgiveness of others any easier. Really, it makes it even harder, but then perhaps by some small chance we discover how great the sacrifice of the Son of God for our misdeeds.

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