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7-4-2022 – A Word to the Wise – On Prayer and Counseling

Less someone think that something special or unique is happening it is not. Every child of God is allowed these experiences if they search for them. There is nothing special about me, I am a great sinner far more so than most.

Counseling and prayer. I would not know what to do or say given the vastly different situations and expectation if it were not for the Lord. There are various areas that I wish to show the Lord revealed to me.

Whenever communication is involved the foremost place to go is teaching about the Motivational Gifts. When a couple realizes the positive and negative effects of the gifts then it becomes easier to work with the problems involved. Let’s look at some examples.

One is a Server, (or Giver) the other Exhorter (Could be a Prophet or Mercy). When they marry problems are predictable. The Server is a physical person that distance negative emotional situations. When conflict develops the Server avoids or uses passive aggressive measures to put distance between them and the distress.

The Lord revealed many years ago a very simple interaction needs to occur. The Exhorter must translate for the Server in the same manner one translates in a foreign language. How does that happen? If the Exhorter says ‘I am anxious: it goes beyond the ability of the Server to grasp. Instead, it must be put in physical terms. The Exporter goes to a chalk board and scrapes their fingernails against it and says to the Server, that is what I am feeling. Put in physical terms the Server now understands.

Different situation. Prophets and Mercies marry 70% of the time. Why, they are opposite individuals, why drawn to each other? The Lord explained it this way. When they have children, the Mercy will not discipline, the Prophet on the other hand is direct and absolute. Their joint discipline provides just the proper temperament the child needs. Otherwise, the child would be spoiled, or abuse. The parents must cooperate and accept each other’s role.

One other matter about communication. Scripture makes it very clear how one is to communicate in certain matters. Specifically, Proverbs 9:7-8 makes it crystal clear you do not argue with foolishness. If you do, you’re a fool. So, when you have these arguments going on with a couple both are acting foolishly and at least one must be taught how to respond in such matters.

In Matthew 5:25 the Lord points out a discerning wise reply. That is “Agree with your enemy quickly,” you’re not agreeing they are right, rather that is what they believe, and you do not argue with what they believe less you find yourself being foolish.

These are just primary steps when the difficulty is communication. So, what other types of problems does the Lord have solutions for?

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7-2-2022 – A Word to the Wise – We have been talking about prayer, lets continue:

The following incident reveals just how interwoven the help the Lord provides for those who call upon him. The information is taken from my journal, so the information is timely and accurate.

It is Friday September 23, 1988 , 0630 I am at the police department working alone my sign on call is 2676 which identifies me as a reserve officer.

I get to the substation about 6.30 A.M.

As I was checking out my vehicle a Code 3 call comes out. Two elements 361, and 363 are assigned. “House being broken into near the VA hospital Lancaster, and Ledbetter.” After arrival, the elements put on the air, ‘Women broke into the house and kidnapped two young children, 4 and 6 years old.’

A couple of minutes later the woman is identify as having committed two murders the night before in Ft. Worth and was wanted for homicide. Every element in Southeast was assigned to search for the woman and children. The Helicopter now joins the search she was thought to be on foot. A clothing description is given out. So, I joined the search. After about 45 minutes I was ready to give up because I had another assignment to go too.

As I started to turn North the Lord told me to go West on Ledbetter. I was reaching the borderline between channel three and four. For the most part officers stay on the channel of their assignment.

I started to turn again, and the Lord said no, The Lord intervenes tell me to stay on the road turning neither North nor South. I obey, crossing Lancaster I switch to channel 4. Immediately the Lord tells me to slow down. I go a block or two and again the Lord tells me, slow down and look to your right as you come to each new intersection. I slow, but again a third time, slow down, now look to your right. I observe some 3 blocks down a grown woman and two small children. I turn around and slowly drive up the street. Get the description and call channel 4 dispatch. ‘2676 give me the description of the kidnapped children.’ Channel 4 dispatch tells me to go back to channel 3 to get the description. Channel 3 dispatcher give me the description of the woman two children. Channel 3 dispatch, ‘black female about 5’7 wearing a beige coat, children is a six-year-old boy with red pajamas and no coat. Black female 4 years old in a blue dress.

I got back to channel 4 because that was the area I was in and told dispatch,” I have a homicide suspect and the two kidnapped children in sight and gave the location and ask for backup. There was silence for a moment and the dispatcher then advised me that there was no help available. This was something never done on an assist officer call. She suggested I might go back to channel 3 and see if help was available.

Lord, I need some help here. The woman was approaching a major intersection which would complicate the situation and possibly endanger the children. I go to channel 3 an advise “Signal 15 officer needs help suspect and two kidnapped children in sight. Dispatch immediately advised 361, 363 Code 3. The Lord then indicated I should pull in front of her stop and offer a warm vehicle to the children instead of waiting for backup because of the major intersection coming up.

Dispatch, ‘I am going to have to stop her here where I can control the situation, tell cover to step it up.’ I turn on my lights and pull in front of the suspect. Get out of the squad car. I ask her if she needs a ride somewhere since it is cold.

Hopefully, she does not suspect the real reason for stopping her. I can hear the siren in the distance. Putting myself between her and the kids I ask the kids a couple of questions in a non-threatening manner.

The sirens are getting closer, so I turn and ask her what her name is. She gets angry and tells me it is none of my business, she does not have to tell me her name. By this time the two children have backed away from her. There is fear in their eyes. The children were shivering. She starts to back up and I tell her ‘You do not want to do this in front of the kids. I reach for my weapon but do not pull it out. I do not want to frighten the children. I tell her again, “make no sudden movements.”

I have her put the kids in the backseat of the squad car. She hears the approaching squads and puts her hands back on the trunk lid. She starts to cry, and then the 2 elements come to a screeching halt officers jump out grabbing her. I talk to the children for a few minutes afterward.

“Thank you Lord for the opportunity to serve you, to protect your children,” but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength.” Where we were located when I stopped them no one was looking for them in this place since she had crossed over into a different area. The Lord did that. Step by step.

Again, my purpose her is to reveal the day to day minute to minute concern for those who ask for the Lord’s help.

These situations are totally different than the interventions of the Lord at work and the resulting written material. But the same Lord.

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6-29-2022 – A Word to the Wise – ON PRAYER CONTINUED

Now we will return to where I dropped out of church and stopped praying. This lasted about seven years. What a total waste. Again, it was not a matter of faith I did not doubt for a second God’s power or glory just wanted nothing to do with people. See how he drew me back.

The return journey the Lord orchestrated in several ways. First in the interventions, at Terrell, then with the police department. I will give specific examples of each.

When I took work at Terrell as a social worker/counselor I was content to work there forever. I did not see myself returning to church or church work. I was quickly promoted and given supervisory responsibilities. I decided to work on the doctorate. (Or should I say the Lord saw to it). It was during these 500-mile trips back to Harding that the relationship with the Lord renewed. There are many things to ask the Lord’s help with how he drew me away from the humanistic views of counseling, the powerful effects of scripture particularly the Proverbs, Psalms, the Gospels, and a renewed interest in the original languages. Ten-hour trip each way provided a lot of time with Him.

The major insight the Lord provided dealt with addictions and how to treat them. Eventually, the Lord directed the thesis showing the connection between religion and substance abuse. The State of Texas later published the results of the study. Yes, the Lord did that he revealed the connection and the difficulty it meant for religious people.

During this period, the Lord tore me away from Terrell and its ineffective manner of treating addiction. Finally, He gave me the strength to go into private practice. Which immediately meant that counseling had to be done his way. The Lord revealed time again how powerful the book of Psalms was in dealing with anxiety and panic attacks. Moreover, the key to solving problems would come from a strong emphasis on the book of Proverbs. I could not solve people’s problems but could give them the tools to do so themselves. Many of those directions are found in the other writings found on my website. But what is important is the Lord provided that direction and without it one was left with worldly wisdom. An aside, one might it interesting to look at the dates on each of those works.

Out of all the classes, and material offered the only value the Lord saw in any in any of it was the DSM- III, and the DSM-4, I will leave it to you to Google what they are. Their value came from the same directions the Lord gave Adam in the beginning. That was categorizing the animals, and the plant kingdom. Man does an excellent job in organizing and classifying in the psychology world, but not in treatment. The two scriptures that he led me to provides the rejection of humanistic treatment of addiction and the Lord’s method of treatment. Colossians 2:20-23 gives the rejection of humanistic solutions and Philippians 4:4-9 the solution.

The directions and interventions the Lord provided in this area of life merely strengthen my trust and direction which he provided. Through all of this I was always aware that the Lord was giving me the insights thus I never owned it for myself. So, this is the direction he gave me and the insights he provided by this prayer relationship. The booklets on the website provide in depth material on these insights.

The work with the police department was manifestly different in that the information was clear and instantaneous. Unfortunately, I must limit it to only 2 or three examples but understand these were regular occurrences. Understand these were parallel universes happening at the same time.

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6-23-2022 – A Word to the Wise – I need to pause here and address the issue of what I call relationship prayer. So, what does it mean when one says the Lord talks to me? I think most Christians would be surprised to know the Lord talks to them all the time and they never considered it. By the way two others talk to us as well besides the Lord. We talk to ourselves; Satan talks to us.

Often when one speaks of their conscience they really have heard from the Lord.

Example you are in a store you look down and someone has dropped an envelope with a lot of money say $823.32. Three voices respond. Wow, look what I found. Here I was needing $832 for rent and the Lord showered it from heaven. That is self-talk. The Lord says, this belongs to someone else you must find the owner, (When I use the term LORD it refers to Jesus, God and or the Holy Spirit.) This is the Lord. The devil says finders’ keepers. Do you recognize it now?

Other examples from my life. Given my background I am very sensitive to loss. When I first married Satan told me” Mary will die before 20 years have passed. I thought it the Lord, I believed it and emotionally responded to it. Remember Satan can appear as an angel of light.

Twenty-one years later the Lord ask me “Where is Mary? She is in the kitchen Lord. I thought she was supposed to be dead! I immediately saw Satan’s lie and the profound affect it had on the marriage. Satan does things like this constantly.

So, the question comes how do you tell the three apart?

If your intent on having a prayer life you must keep I John 4:14 constantly in your awareness. John tells us how to discern the spirit. Daily acknowledging that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and came in the flesh this John tell us is how we test the source of what we hear.

Now there are some very specific things it is best to practice with this type of prayer life to avoid confusion and grow in faith.

1. If you keep a prayer journal, then you have a running record of what you have ask for and what the Lord has given or said to you. My mother always told me it is wise to write down what the Lord tells you because you will forget and its 10 years later before he tells you again.

2. A simple way of telling the source of an answer, or statement is the feeling attached to it. There are three distinct responses that accomplish answers. If it is the Lord, we feel a sense of peace we may not like it but there is a peaceful feeling attached to the words. If its self-talk, then a feeling of disconnect or questionable experience is felt inside oneself. If it is Satan, there is always agitation and anxiety.

3. You doubt Satan lies to you. Check Genesis 3 with Satan lying to Eve. Or look at the three friends of Job. Satan quoted scripture to them to confront Job, but their correction does not apply to Job. The temptation of Jesus is another example. exploring scripture, you find examples of lies, and truths all through scripture. So, discernment and the I John challenge passage helps distinguish the Lord’s words.

4. So how do you deal with a highly emotional situations and you must be certain the Lord has put it on your heart? You ask the Lord to verify the answer. You must not do that to everything he says because that is a lack of trust. This however is different. Again, you find these same situations where a decision had to be made in scripture, II Kings 22 is one example. Once you ask the Lord to verify the answer, he will put in the mouth of another person, in an event or even a dream sometimes repeating the dream. This is your verification it is best not to ignore or discount it.

Now we will return to where I dropped out of church, stopped praying. This lasted about seven years. What a total waste. Again, it was not a matter of faith I did not doubt for a second God’s power or glory just wanted nothing to do with people. See how he drew me back.

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6-23-2022 – Continue On Prayer:

At this time a student came from Harding Graduate School trying to get students to go to Harding Graduate School. I told him absolutely not I was not interested. He proceeded to tell me about this famous Dr. Lewis. Lewis has two doctorate one from Harvard and the other from Hebrew Union. A genius. I do not care I do not want to be anywhere near the school, or him or Tennessee. Lord, I will not do it. The student even bragged how he got to eat dinner with Dr. Lewis one evening. Your wasting your breath go talk to Paul the missionary from the Philippines I have no interest moreover as for Dr. Lewis, I wish him the best but we will never meet.

Mother said ask the Lord. Now this is the problem the Lord tells you to do something, what choice do you have? I know why others don’t ask, out of sight out of mind.

So come September Mary, Tim and I headed to Harding, very reluctantly. The first morning I get to chapel early. No one is there, and no one knew me. I walk into the chapel looked at the back benched check the number of steps to the back exit, two steps on one side and three on the other. I sat on the one that was only 2 steps from the exit door. I would be out of that chapel with the amen. I did not want to meet anyone, know anyone, talk to anyone, just hide.

Service was fairly short, they said amen and I was out the back exit. I had gotten a dozen steps and I heard a voice say “Jerry”. I kept walking for two reasons. I hated my name always had and rarely answered to it. The second no one knew me, so they were not calling me. The voice said again Jerry. I turned and there was this short little man in the middle of the aisle, and he said to me I am Dr. Lewis, I need to talk to you. Of all the people that I did not want to talk to and how did he know my name?

I said yes sir walked in his office and saw my folder open on his desk. Wonderful I thought he read up on me, they know I do not belong here. He knows I was in the military and that is not popular right now. (Viet Nam had just ended) I will be going home, thank the Lord I never wanted to be here. Told you Lord I do not belong here. He picked up my folder and said I notice you made straight A’s in Hebrew and Greek, I need someone to work with my Hebrew class and teach it and grade paper when I am not here. LORD THIS IS NOT FUNNY!! I should have never ask the Lord what would be on that test. The school pays well. Here I sit in a tent in the State Park without a job or money for housing. What choice do I have?

The 3 years at Harding was the most difficult, trying, years of my life up to then. I will not say anything further about it.

By now you know how important prayer is before one makes a decision. I told you prayer makes things harder, not easier. But have I mention what terrible mistake one makes if they do not ask?

I had been seeking a church as a minister for a couple of months. I graduated. But still no job. I had to find a place to go. I received a call from a little town Rector Arkansas would I come and try out. so, Mary and I went. After services the elder met with me and said they want to hire me. I did not ask the Lord. I needed a job. I said yes. I got home and the phone rang and there was a college wanting me to come and talk to them about a Bible Chair Ministry. My heart sank. I had to say I could not come I had just accepted a position elsewhere. I hung up; Lord I know I should have asked you. The answer yes you should have.

I discovered just how terrible, backing biting, cruel, and liars Christians could be. We were there 3 months. On a Wednesday evening the elder came up and said there was some problems. I said what do you want me to do quit. He said yes, The next day the elder came up and I guess wanting to whitewash the matter. I made him tell me why? He said the woman next door accused me of making obscene phone calls to her. What? Of all the things I had done or considered doing phone calls was never one of them. Remember, Exhorter hate telephones, they want to talk to people face to face. Confronting the woman, she told the elder it was me, since I used the term ‘you know’ a lot. I investigated talk to the police chief found out the calls had been going on months before I got there. They gave me the date of the call, and I pointed out I was 800 miles away in another city doing a wedding. They did not care they just wanted me gone. I took a polygraph, innocent, nope I was guilty they wanted me gone. So, we sat in the house next to the church while I looked for a job. The members called me names and wanted me out of there. Rumors spread to Harding about my supposed phone calls. Found out later even the president of Harding was telling other teachers about what I had done. We finally took a church in Oklahoman. But it was much too late. I was sick of people who called themselves Christian. Within a year I quite the ministry altogether. All of this the consequences of not inquiring of the Lord.

I quit. Stopped going to church, stopped praying. The Lord most certainly would have his hands full getting me back.

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6-22-2022 – A Word to the Wise – On Prayer part 2

Frequently, my mother and I prayed together. We would often ask the LORD for answers and make sure we agreed on the answers we received.

I began to wonder if the way we experienced prayer was unique to us. My mother warned me to never talk about prayer in church. In her experience, these people believed that communication with the Lord was a one-way street. That would have gotten me kicked out of the ‘synagogue’ really quick.

She found a little book written in 1956, ‘Letters By A Modern Mystic,’ by Frank Laubach. I do not agree with mysticism. However, in this book, this minister describes some of the most beautiful conversations with the Lord. Now I knew that others experienced prayer as I. Both precious books sit in front of me as I write.

You may think that life is easier with this kind of prayer life. I believe it makes decisions harder. How can that be? Think about it- if you are the one who makes all the decisions then life is somewhat simple. You are free to believe whatever happens is the Lord’s will. In this manner of prayer, it does not work that way. If the Lord gives you a direction- you do not know where you are going, nor how you will get there. Not to mention, what it will cost, or where you will end up. Believe me faith is not easy.

However, for me, some very difficult life questions had to be answered. I had left home at 16. However, now I had to support myself, and decide about the future and it looked bleak. I did not trust my own judgement- only the Lord could know the wise path for me to take. I was very shy and would be graduating in 4 short months. “Lord, what do I do?” I have no clue.

He told me to talk to a recruiter that would be at the school tomorrow. “Which one, Lord? The Air Force.” I obeyed. May 31st, I graduate High School. On June 6, 1961, I was on an airplane headed to Lackland Air Force Base.

I am astounded at the perfect timing and the lifelong blessing that specific prayer led to. Even today, sixty years later, I benefit from what the Lord told me to do. The VA still pays a portion of my medical bills.

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6-21-2022 – A Word to the Wise – On Prayer part 2

Frequently, my mother and I prayed together. We would often ask the LORD for answers and make sure we agreed on the answers we received.

I began to wonder if the way we experienced prayer was unique to us. My mother warned me to never talk about prayer in church. In her experience, these people believed that communication with the Lord was a one-way street. That would have gotten me kicked out of the ‘synagogue’ really quick.

She found a little book written in 1956, ‘Letters By A Modern Mystic,’ by Frank Laubach. I do not agree with mysticism. However, in this book, this minister describes some of the most beautiful conversations with the Lord. Now I knew that others experienced prayer as I. Both precious books sit in front of me as I write.

You may think that life is easier with this kind of prayer life. I believe it makes decisions harder. How can that be? Think about it- if you are the one who makes all the decisions then life is somewhat simple. You are free to believe whatever happens is the Lord’s will. In this manner of prayer, it does not work that way. If the Lord gives you a direction- you do not know where you are going, nor how you will get there. Not to mention, what it will cost, or where you will end up. Believe me faith is not easy.

However, for me, some very difficult life questions had to be answered. I had left home at 16. However, now I had to support myself, and decide about the future and it looked bleak. I did not trust my own judgement- only the Lord could know the wise path for me to take. I was very shy and would be graduating in 4 short months. “Lord, what do I do?” I have no clue.

He told me to talk to a recruiter that would be at the school tomorrow. “Which one, Lord? The Air Force.” I obeyed. May 31st, I graduate High School. On June 6, 1961, I was on an airplane headed to Lackland Air Force Base.

I am astounded at the perfect timing and the lifelong blessing that specific prayer led to. Even today, sixty years later, I benefit from what the Lord told me to do. The VA still pays a portion of my medical bills.

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6-20-2022 – On Prayer

I want to share some of my experiences with prayer. I was born a twin, premature in the middle of World War II. I was deathly sick from the beginning and my future didn’t look promising. After overcoming some unbelievable hurdles, my health again took a critical turn. I had been in the hospital for nearly two weeks before my second birthday, when the doctor told my mother that I would not make it through the night.

After the doctor left, my mother began fervently praying and begging the Lord to spare my life. My mother had a unique saying about prayer: “Why would anyone think that prayer is a one-way street? How is it possible to take comfort in praying to a God who does not talk to you?”

When I was four, my parents divorced, and I was put in a series of foster homes, and “taken care of” by a host of abusive people. From time to time, I spent a few weeks with my mother and then made to go back to these places. During one of these interludes, under the care of my mother, I was six years old and I got in a rock fight with another child and got hit in the eye. My mother rushed me to the hospital. After the initial examination, the doctor told my mother that I would most likely lose the eye. My eye was bandaged, and I was sent home. Upon arrival, my mother asked me if I wanted to know if I would lose my eye or not. I assured her that I did. We knelt down and she told me to ask the Lord. This is the first time I prayed. I asked the Lord if I would lose the eye, and he said no. My mother asked me what He told me, and she confirmed that she received the same answer. That was the beginning of my prayer life.

I returned to my private hell, living with abusive foster parents. When I was nine, I did not want to live any longer. It was the summer of 1952, there was a terrible plague going around. Mid-afternoon, Mrs. Smith called my mother and told her to come and get me because I was running a high fever of 106 degrees. My mother told me she did not know what she was talking about, that she did not even know how to take a temperature. She came to see me and took my temperature; it was 107 degrees! My mother rushed me to the hospital. I still remember the gurney- someone pushing it quickly towards an elevator and a doctor on one side and nurse on the other giving me injections, as fast as they could. I passed out. My mother prayed. The diagnosis was polio. She prayed more. Later, much later I was going home, and I told her I would never go back to Mrs. Smith’s. She agreed and my family moved to Lawton. However, by this time the damage had been done. A host of psychologists was no help to me. I had an emotional block to learning, plus what is now referred to as ADD, and all types of acting out behaviors.

But prayer came back into my life. One day, my mother gave me a small (non- religious) book to read. It was written in 1911, a children’s book called Clematis. I identified with this little orphan. I started to consume books, staying up late at night, by the fireplace reading. It was during this time, my mother started the Devotional System I refer to elsewhere.

Late, one night in early September 1955, the phone rang. We were all getting ready to go to bed. Mother answered the phone and there was dead silence. We started to cry, she hung up the phone, and quietly said we will be going to Oklahoma City tomorrow, your father died.

Six weeks later, I was walking home from school (it was a 2 mile walk hot or cold, rain or snow). I was nearly home, crossing a field, when the Lord asked me a question, just as clear as day. “Do you want me to be your Father?” I said, yes. Thus began a unique journey that was to be a deciding factor in where my life would go, for the rest of my days. I was 12 years old.

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6-17-2022 – A Word to the Wise – Introduction to future posts on prayer:

I will be sharing my personal experiences with prayer. It is not a how-to method rather how I GREW UP WITH IT. There will be several parts to this document, and they will probably be on my website under the archives. I have never read books written on prayer, so I am not able to comment on them. I do know I have never liked praying in public and so I prefer to let others do it. It’s strange my wife, my daughter, and my son, are all very good with public prayers. They did not get it from me. You might ask them where they learned it.

I have noticed in hearing other people talk or preach about the subject it seems a rather foreign way to approach prayer from my perspective. Thinking about it, I conclude that prayer to me, is not really “prayer”-it’s a relationship, a very private relationship. So, this will be the subject of my post for the next few days.

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6-11-2022 – A Word to the Wise – UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, REALLY?

I believe the first time I heard this expression came when I was working at Terrell State Hospital, on the Substance Abuse unit. I had been working there for about five years and we started getting a lot of drug problems. It was in group therapy sessions and by visit with family that the term unconditional love kept cropping up. It sounded ‘good’ but then I noticed it always had to do with expectations of the patient, or statements by family how they loved unconditionally.

Now I suppose in a humanistic world that this particular ethic might be acceptable. However, in Christianity or even Judaism no such theology exists. In fact, the whole idea is about as dumb as some of the strange character coming in for treatment who insisted on their families loving them unconditionally. One was addicted to blood. No, he was not a vampire, but he would rob blood banks at night to get a fresh supply to drink. That was rather strange to me until one guy was admitted who was addicted to oil dirt! What in the world is oil dirt? The person would sneak under a car and let the oil out on the round and eat it. Yes, please love me unconditionally by providing for my demands.

Well, what has that to do with unconditional love? All three make as much sense. The short 5 chapters of I John destroys this whole humanistic concept. If you love me, you will keep my commandments is a concept from Genesis to Revelation. Love is always connected with obedience so love is never unconditional even for Jesus he had to obey his Father, so must we.

The whole idea that an addict can demand of anyone much less their parent’s proof of love by making demands is totally ridiculous. So, for those who have children or relatives who talk about proof of love by meeting demands, I say just laugh at them.

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