Christian Family Services Ministry

5-30-2023 – A Word to the Wise – Wisdom is not knowledge; rather the use of knowledge. Wisdom is power and is capable of transforming mankind. The results of the gift of wisdom benefit all of society. Wisdom is even the primary source of longevity. Wisdom is not religion but requires godly boundaries if it is to be utilized for good. Wisdom flows from the heart but is regulated by the mind. Most women are born with it, few men seek it, and all of us need it.

The purpose of wisdom is to render justice. Wisdom’s purpose is seen in the nature of its creation. According To Proverbs 8:22, wisdom was created by the Lord before the creation of the universe. Moreover, wisdom accompanied the Lord in the creation process. Wisdom is the chief testimony for God’s existence and His intervention in the affairs of men. Now, if all of this seems rather complex –then believe me, it is. The subject of wisdom and its acquisition is a complex subject. Solomon says however, obtaining wisdom surpasses any other goal one could hope to achieve. Ultimately, the wisdom received will glorify the Lord and not ourselves.

Read Full Post »

4-15-2023 – A Word to the Wise – Let’s spend some time with one of the miracles of Jesus.

Examining Matthew and Luke’s story of the healing of the centurion’s servant might be fruitful and enlarge our understanding.

We now look at the text trying to picture the event and the setting. This means looking at the order of vents ands how Matthew shortens the encounter while Luke gives more details.

Luke 7:1–10 and Matthew 8:5-13

1 Now when he had ended all his sayings in the audience of the people, he entered into Capernaum.

2 And a certain centurion’s servant, who was dear unto him, was sick, and ready to die.

FIRST (Luke) This is the background which occurs first.

3 And when he heard of Jesus he sent unto him the elders of the Jews, beseeching him that he would come and heal his servant.

4 And when they came to Jesus, they besought him instantly, saying, That he was worthy for whom he should do this:

5 For he loveth our nation, and he hath built us a synagogue.

6 Then Jesus went with them. And when he was now not far from the house,

SECOND (Luke) Now Luke tells us the centurion sends friends,

The centurion sent friends.

THIRD (Matthew) Now Matthew presents the picture that the centurion himself comes.

there came unto him a centurion, beseeching him,

6 And saying, Lord, my servant lieth at home sick of the palsy, grievously tormented.

7 And Jesus saith unto him, I will come and heal him.

8 The centurion answered and said,

to him, saying unto him, Lord, trouble not thyself; for I am not worthy that thou shouldest enter under my roof:

7 Wherefore neither thought I myself worthy to come unto thee: but say in a word, and my servant shall be healed.

8 For I also am a man set under authority, having under me soldiers, and I say unto one, Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth it.

9 When Jesus heard these things he marveled at him, and turned him about, and said unto the people that followed him, I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel.

FORTH (Luke) Now Luke concludes the encounter.

And they that were sent, returning to the house, found the servant whole that had been sick.

This I believe clears up any textual problems which occur when the authors emphasis different matters

We should understand that Matthew is giving an abbreviated summary while Luke goes into more detail.

Now let’s see if there are gems here to be uncovered that illuminate the living situation of the time.

First the centurion. The roman centurion was a military person set over a cohort of about 80 to 100 men. This centurion likely was about 50 years old and retired. Several things here give us this possible interpretation.

First, he is living with his family and servants. However, centurions on active duty were not allowed to be married. They were expected to be ‘married’ to their unit. They went where the cohort was assigned. No families were allowed to distract the centurion.

Another matter is this man’s wealth. Where did it come from? History tells us the basic salary of a new centurion was 1000 denarii per month the older centurions having been in several years received up to 15,000 denarii per month. Remember the base pay at this time was one denarius a day pay for the civilian population.

Back to this centurion’s wealth. It is not just his salary. Retiring he would have been given a sizable area of land usually in Galilee, or near Emmaus. This land could be used for farming and other endeavors. This land was sizable and excellent for farming.

However, there is more. If this centurion was from a wealthy family, which most of the older centurions were, then he would have access to huge amounts of family money. Much of this is addressed by early first century writers like Josephus and others.

Now we come to the issue that lies behind our inquiry. The rulers said he had built for the Jews out of his love for them a synagogue.

Now the synagogue that he built any idea the cost? Every bit of $3 million dollars in our culture! How could he afford such a price?

Given his retirement compensation, his earnings, his retirement settlement, and the wealth of his family, no problem. This is a gift for the Lord. Therefore, this encounter with Jesus, I like to think is God’s way of accepting this man’s gift.

Jesus saw in this man godliness, devotion to duty, a person unlike the rich man in the story pf Lazarus who would not even give a bread crumb to a dying man.

Moreover, this nameless centurion is not even asking for more wealth, or advancement, no, just that a suffering servant of his be healed. Nothing for himself.

We ought to be like this man and look for opportunities to bless our Lord.

Read Full Post »

4-10-2023 – A Word to the Wise – JOHN 5: 1-16

In John 5 we meet a strange nameless person who when healed from a disease 38 years in the making returns the favor with hatred.

What may we know or suspect about this man who has been, here seeking healing at this pool?

Well, he is probably between 50 and 60 years of age. We gather this because this problem was caused by sin (14). He has been sick 38 years and therefore at least 12 but more likely 20 when he became lame. Jesus connects the sin with the physical aliment.

No doubt he is a beggar since he must provide for some basic needs. I suspect he is a dependent personality because he depends on others so heavily. If that indeed is a correct diagnosis, then we may be able to draw further conclusion.

Those with this type of personality defect are oriented towards eliciting help from others. They find it difficult to impossible to initiate for themselves. They lack self-confidence and present themselves as inept and requiring constant assistance.

Moreover, it seems there is a bit of narcissistic personality here as well. I see this in his expectation that others help or care for him and when ignored becomes angry. This sense of entitlement is coupled with a lack of sensitivity for others. this man excuses his state on others for not helping him. But given his personality I doubt anyone wanted to do anything for him.

Other things may be seen. He is not an observant Jew for he is violating the Sabbath by carrying his bed which was strictly forbidden. Moreover, he places himself in a highly idolatrous place. (This pool would be one of the pools of healing dedicated to Asclepius.) No righteous Jew would be found here lame or not.

It is obvious that he does not want to be healed for he places himself in a position where even if it were true about an intervention by an angel, he is unable to reach the pool. Moreover, he is so self-centered that he is friendless. After all these years he has cared for no one, therefore no one cares for him.

Given the opportunity the man turns Jesus in to the Jewish authorities for the ‘sin’ of healing him. It may be inferred that he did not want to be healed for it would be easier living off the alms of others than having to work for a living.

I understand I might be reading a lot into the situation given the brevity of the passage However this type of personality is stands out in any crowd.

So now we inquire, just what sin brought this man here to start with? We may only guess at this point. However, since betrayal seems to be at the top of his list as evidenced by what he did to Jesus, then like Judas I would suspect dishonesty, or thievery.

So, what lesson may be drawn from this encounter? First there are physical consequences to sin for sin brought this man here and he is in danger in returning to it. Second, just because you heal the body it does not mean you heal the soul a lesson very appropriate for our day.

What other physical ailments might be connected to sin? Obviously, any of the addictions may be connected to physical ailments. Moral issues according to Proverbs 5-7 gives dire physical and emotional consequences. Anger affects bone health (Proverbs 14:30). These are a just a couple of consequences tied to physical health. There are many others.

These few versus serves as a warning about long term sin. Further this man and the circumstance stands in direct contrast to John 9 and the episode with the man born blind.

There is much to learn as one studies scripture beyond the superficial.

Read Full Post »

3-31-2023 – A Word to the Wise – PART 9

CONSEQUENCES

To step across the line and commit sins of immorality, betrayal or murder marks that person’s soul. It breaks the vessel and the purpose the Lord created for that person. Based upon repentance and faithfulness a new purpose is created by the Lord. However, the original purpose is forever gone. David’s kingdom was never the same after Bathsheba.

Perhaps the extreme consequences are more understandable when we realize that the root sin involved in adultery is idolatry. Remember that God gave sex to the man as a gift, the companionship being a reminder of God’s relationship to the man. The reminder is in a tangible form of the woman. The reminder is a living testimony to God’s way with man.

Sex for the man speaks to the most intimate feelings and is akin to worship of God. This is not a new concept. How else would Satan have been able to twist the sexual aspects of man’s being into worship of idols? Most of the ancient religions had some form of sex act as part of the worship experience. Idolatry may be defined as offering worship to anyone, to anything, or any symbol other than the Lord God Almighty. When idolatry is committed, it is destructive to the soul.

The connection between adultery and idolatry is further strengthen when ones realizes that the Bible frequently uses words like unfaithfulness and adultery to describe one’s unfaithfulness to God. How often I have heard my clients describe in worshipful tones the first sexual experience in an affair. That is why particularly for the man sex outside of marriage is idolatry. It seeks to recreate outside the marriage the gift God gave for the confines of marriage. The feelings in marriage are part of one’s worship–especially thanksgiving to the Lord. Outside of marriage, the man is performing an act of worship on the woman.

It is important to realize that the whole process from onset of sin to return to a modicum of peace is about two years. This period will be very painful for both spouses. The adulterer will experience a maze of conflicting emotions. Attempts to elicit trust by either party should not be made. All demands for fidelity will lead to anger or failure. The couple talking about what has happened and the different feelings encountered can lead to closeness if done properly. At some point the sinner must experience the pain the betrayed experiences.

What about the long term, life long consequences of adultery? What is the outcome? As with any sin when one repents and turns from evil, a new future is created. If the sin and memories are committed to the Lord then eventually the Lord Jesus will take them and turn them into a lasting blessing. Once a blessing is made, the outcome may affect three or four generations in a positive manner. If not surrendered to Jesus, the negative results in terms of sin, embarrassment, anxiety, immorality, may last to the third and fourth generations.

Moses, Peter, and Paul were all three guilty of murder or betrayal. Yet, once these lives were surrendered to God, the blessings to their generation and the generations thereafter overflowed with God’s grace. Tamar, Rahab, David, Solomon, Manasseh and others were immoral and guilty of even worse sins. Yet, it was their repentance, which paved the way for blessing upon blessing to future generations.

Read Full Post »

3-28-2023 – A Word to the Wise – PART 8 – TREATMENT

Now let’s address our original question, “Are there inoculations and or antitoxins used by the Lord to warn us away from immorality? The answer is yes there is. Most of us are aware of them but just not used to thinking of them in this sense. I first learned of them from my mother when I was thirteen. I do not even remember the whole conversation now, but the pertinent part addressed the heavy perfume prostitutes would use to cover up the smell involved in their occupation.

The next memories revolve around conversations of two roommates I had while in the military. Michael and Brentzel were two typical characters (lacking any moral integrity) of their time. Their conversations involved two main subjects; women and drinking, and they would expound on these subjects at length. Michael, a man of many varied and frequent sexual experiences, would speak of the difference between sex with a woman the first time and thereafter. He would comment on the smell being repelling the first time, more acceptable the next, and then intoxicating thereafter. Not that Michael had too many relations that went beyond the third or fourth date, but it does speak to an awareness that even the most foolish have.

Years later as a Dallas Police Officer assigned to patrolling an exceedingly high crime area, I was frequently called upon to answer shooting calls or search for fugitives in a house of prostitution. I was struck by the unique and decidedly unpleasant smell of these places. On many occasions, we would walk into a room while people were still having intercourse. The smell was always unpleasant. When I began this study, the Lord brought to mind these experiences with the prompting that this was another and final warning to a person not to continue in iniquity. Scripture touches on this in Proverbs when speaking of the adulteress. The text says “I have decked my couch with coverings, colored spreads of Egyptian linen; I have perfumed by bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.” What were these spices for but to cover up the smell? How come? Someone may ask, is this sensation not experienced negatively in marriage? It is because in marriage the Lord created the experience to bond the couple, to make them one. One’s own smell does not bother oneself, a further indication of the depth of the meaning of phrase, “and the two become one flesh.”

The remedy for adultery is applied most effectively when it is in concert with the persons’ motivational gift. The healer must consider the primary emotional, physical, or intellectual makeup of the adulterer.

The person’s degree of religiosity is another attribute which affects treatment. Sincere piety in an individual affects both the approach and timing of any intervention. Most failures in acquiring repentance of a very pious person can be attributed to lack of consideration given to these two elements. King David is the best illustration of timing and approach in the confrontation of immorality.

Nathan, the friend and prophet of David, waited nearly a whole year before the Lord prompted him to confront David.

Our tendency is to immediately react. But reacting this quickly inspires resistance. This is especially true if the person knows right from wrong. During the initial stages of sin, a person does not feel distance from the Lord. This is critical if one is to be successful in intervening. One waits for the Lord’s prompting not for one’s own feelings. Nathan waited for the right moment. How does one recognize this moment? It is a moment filled with loses and tragedy, for the offender. It might include, but not limited to personal illness, loss of significant family and or friends, and the potential loss of the most important person in this person’s live. Frequently this is months after the sin begins.

Also, during this period, the sinner will experience intense mood shifts which include euphoria, irritation, anger, and depression. One does not confront in a manner that allows the reaction to be displaced to another. One avoids any interaction which emotionally drains energy or anxiety from the adulterer. These feelings must be allowed to build with no release. For the most part passivity by as many significant people as possible is important until the proper moment arrives.

Confrontation, when it does come, is followed by as many consequences as possible experienced in as short a time as possible. Confrontation comes usually three to nine months after the onset. If the person is a physical person (motivational gifts of server, giver, or organizer), then it is important to emphasize physical consequences. If the person is an emotional person (motivational gifts of prophet, or mercy), then the consequences need to be emotional. If the person is intellectual (motivational gifts of teacher, exhorter), then the consequences are primarily intellectual and secondarily physical.

Examples of consequences might be rejection or abandonment for the emotional person. Utilization of the five senses (taste, touch, sight, smell, or hearing) for consequences for physical individuals. Intellectual isolation for the intellectual persons is the effective avenue for consequences. The higher degree of religiosity in the offender tends to improve success.

Read Full Post »

3-27-2023 – A Word to the Wise – PART 7

There is no cure for adultery. That however does not mean a person cannot stop, for they can. That does not mean they carry the guilt, for the blood of Jesus washes away sin. No, what we mean is the most that can be said is, “go thy way and sin no more.” Adultery, like the sins of betrayal, and murder goes with us to our graves. Hawthorn’s idea of the Scarlet Letter is not to far from the truth. Cain carried to his grave the murder of his brother. Peter was always haunted by the betrayal of his Lord. It needs to be made perfectly clear that these sins are forgivable. That is not the point. It is that the violation can never be undone.

Let me give an example from several years ago, what is being described is the beginning of an affair between two people who are “Christians.” Please note that at the time, this individual was saying these things, he was still married. In this case, the spouse had filed for divorce and in fact was ‘in love with another man’ who she later married.

“Thank you, Father, for giving me Janice. She is something my wife never was; an ideal woman. Just her touch causes me intense pleasure. Thank you for your gift.” Notice please the mixture of worshipfulness toward the Lord, who in this circumstance is given credit for providing a girlfriend. Notice the feelings or worship toward the girlfriend. This perfect couple married the day after the divorce was final, and themselves divorced nine months later. Seems they both found more perfect mates whom they then married. Often in the beginning stages of immorality there are intense religious feelings. These feelings go back to an awareness of God’s creative purposes, which Satan immediately twists into immorality.

Read Full Post »

3-24-2026 – A Word to the Wise – PART6 –

CURES

The Lord has placed within people a powerful force which when used properly inhibits the sexual response over a short period of time, with two different people. What I am speaking of now is the normal person who is a Christian who is remorseful about their infidelity. How one can know it exists is by this simple test. If you are being unfaithful do you desire sex with your spouse after your infidelity? Have you wondered why you did not? Now reverse the situation. Did you desire sex with your paramour after sex with your spouse? Is there not a feeling of repulsion at the thought? Where did it come from? It may be identified as guilt however if examined closely one will discover that it originates as a physical feeling, not an emotional experience. Believe it or not, the marriage sexual relationship is very influential in the lives of a married couple. A man is typically repulsed by other women after sex with his wife. It is rare for a person to go and have sex with another person right after sex with one’s wife or husband. The Lord has built into our make up certain barriers, which are difficult to surmount. Wives open doors to other women when she talks to other women about her husband. One should never talk to the same sex person about his or her spouse and the sexual relationship.

Moreover, have you given thought to the type of disease that afflicts those who are unfaithful? I mean besides sexual transmitted disease? You see illicit sex results in illness. This illness begins with the breakdown of the autoimmune system caused by guilt, and anxiety. As physical breakdown starts to occur usually within the first three months of transgression symptoms such as susceptibility to minor illness, colds, flu, and other minor illnesses occur. Allergy problems either begin or intensify. Stomach and bowel problems, blood pressures and other physical difficulties begin. Later more severe illness may set in. Diabetes, cancer, and a whole host of genetically rooted illness start to reveal themselves. Our bodies are now vulnerable because of the breakdown of our system due to anxiety and guilt. Quite a price to pay for a little fling.

The severity of the experience of the faithful mate is often just as great as for the guilty party. This can be explained to some degree, by the fitness principle. For those who marry without premarital promiscuous sex, the experience of infidelity can be excruciatingly painful. This is because the fit to one mate was much closer. The breaking of this link brings intense pain. No one escapes from adultery unharmed.

For the person who has had an unfaithful spouse the element of trust is crucial. How can I trust this person or anyone else they ask? The truth, though painful, is that you cannot. In fact, the trait of trust is forever removed from this relationship. How then can I know or be secure in the relationship again? Is it worth reestablishing the relationship again? The answer is yes, most certainly, under specific conditions. The innocent party must never ever suggest, ask, or demand, the mate promise fidelity. Nor does one accept such a promise. To make such a request is paramount to asking them to gouge out their eyes and it is doomed to failure. Security can only come from one’s relationship with God. Moreover, he or she can be sure of one’s faithfulness by the manner or relationship he or she maintains with the Lord. If one fails the other will not be far behind.

Read Full Post »

3-23-2023 – A Word to the Wise – PART 5

Perhaps the two most destructive consequences of illicit sex are disease and pregnancy. Amazingly, both are strong attractions in adultery. Note please the tremendous spread of sexually transmitted disease. One might say, “no one wants a sexually transmitted disease.” But the reality is that the offenders do want to be infected. Both want to have children in these unions. The modern age, with all of its preventive medicine, is unable to halt the intense desire for infection or pregnancy. The powerful overwhelming need for infection and pregnancy when immoral is far greater than the desire for protection. This is warned about in Proverbs. Chapters four through seven warn about his powerful desire. Just a couple of examples will suffice. In Proverbs 5:10-16, Solomon warns of three powerful consequences. The first is financial. The immoral person will experience others taking his wealth. Second, immorality will consume the flesh, and even in the process one will reject the warnings. Third, verse fifteen reveals the desire for pregnancy and many illegitimate children.

This drive for infection and pregnancy is all consuming. Even in an age when so many means are available to prohibit both pregnancy and infection, they continue to occur at an alarming rate.

The next stage is the aftermath. What takes place afterwards? Many whose marriages survive are prone to say ‘I will never do that again.’ They have discovered some of the most intense emotional pain possible. Though serious about never getting involved again, he or she is making a promise, which may not last. What the person knows at the time is that the cost was far beyond what was anticipated. Remembrance excruciating pain lapses and once again longs for the forbidden pleasure. Their spouse on the other hand learns first hand the price of forgiveness.

The innocent party, if they survive the storm, has some very difficult questions to ask and decisions to make. Questions like: Will it happen again? What do I do? Can I ever trust again? Should I get a divorce? What about the children? But most importantly: What would Jesus do?

More frequently these days you see bracelets on the wrist of teens, and on occasion adults with the initials “WWJD.” When asked what does it mean, most will readily say that the phrase stands for, “What Would Jesus Do? They know, but they really do not know. Just be aware that this phrase began in 1896 when it was created by Charles M. Sheldon in his little devotional book “In His Steps.” This book has been translated into twenty-one different languages and sold millions of copies. Some say its success was encouraged by the failure of the author to themselves asking.

Jesus has never been in my place with an adulterous mate, one may say. Yes, but that is only partially true, for He did experience betrayal at the hands of two friends, one of whom was very close. So what did He do? What did it cost?

For the first betrayer, it meant death, death by his own hand. We, of course, are speaking of Judas. I suppose some spouses have killed their mates for adultery whether it is physically, emotionally, or perhaps spiritually. Historically, betrayal ultimately cost more than any other sin past, present or future. Betrayal cost the Son of God his life. It was the direct cause of the fall of Jerusalem in 70 A.D., God’s judgment for the ultimate rejection of His Son, and His grace, and most importantly it is directly related to our salvation.

The second betrayer of Jesus was Peter. Jesus deals with Peter in much the same manner in which he deals with the woman caught in adultery in John 8. He deals with it simply, compassionately, directly. “Go thy way and sin no more.” In Peters case it comes in the sentence “Do you love Me, Peter?” Most commentators on John have a field day with the use of two different words for love found in this passage. Perhaps it is much simpler if we understand that it takes two Greek words to explain the powerful concept being spoken of. For the Hebrew word for love is such a powerful all-consuming term that it influences both the Aramaic, the language Jesus spoke, and the Greek, the written language of the New Testament. All of that is to say betrayal is best met with love. Love is the crucial element in the cure of adultery, not the misfocused, erotic emotions of the moment. Rather, it is the love, which calls one into account for one’s behavior. Love which challenges one to forsake one’s immoral behavior.

copyright it, others suspect even more powerful reasons. The full saying by Sheldon was, “What would Jesus do if He were in my place?” This is the question many innocent mates find

Read Full Post »

3-18-2023 – A Word to the Wise – PART 4

Men tend to not take the indebtedness seriously. A woman takes it very seriously, and will extract her price by one means or another, even if it means selling the debt to Satan. How does she do this? One method is bitterness. The other is cursing the man; a curse that is without cause has no effect. However, one that does have cause will bring harm, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Examples can be seen in sexually transmitted disease, mental and emotional illness, and spiritual weakness. One should not assume these are the only consequences. Ultimately, immorality utterly destroys the individual.

Proverbs outlines the stages of adultery. The first stage is a state of mind. This state of mind is ignorant of consequences and oblivious to the laws of God; a person looking for a good time bored with the routine of everyday life hoping to hide transgression under the cloak of darkness. This person knows what he is seeking, and the search is observable by others. It is observed in the eye, in the dress, facial expressions, non- verbal language and the dress of the predator. The person does not have to be a prostitute. It can be a bored housewife or a man just looking for a good time.

Often the path to adultery begins with the little things, such as the normal every day kindness of another, which we focus on and compare with the behavior of our spouse. Here are some sample statements given by clients in this initial state.

John, several years ago, was a client who was locked into a marriage with a selfish, self-centered wife, who was consumed with her own attractiveness. In the beginning, John tried to be giving and hold on to the biblical principles his parents had taught him. But the first indication of a breakdown in his moral judgments came when he was observed ‘admiring ‘ every female coming into his line of sight. He talked about how innocent this was and how all men do it. As time pasted, he started talking incessantly about a girl at work, which seemed to be very helpful. She would listen to him talk about his unfulfilling marriage. His complaints about his wife increased, compliments decreased, and his praise of Judy escalated. John, his family, Judy and her family quickly became aware of the high price of this mutual attention.

It takes a considerable amount of energy to engage in the emotional requirements of the pre-adulterous state. On the one hand you have the emotional desires toward the new friend which are somewhat fulfilling while on the other anger and hostility towards one’s spouse grow with accusations of the spouse’s unfitness for not meeting needs. Significant time spent engaging in this new relationship robs one’s family of valuable time, emotional, mental, and physical presence, and ones spiritual involvement. So, from the onset the investment made in the new relationship takes away from the old.

Warning signals from friends are ignored. Soon communication between the two is accomplished in every secret dark conceivable manner, at work or at home, at midday, or midnight. There is no more peace. The person involved in this kind of relationship tends to become highly irritable for no apparent reason. Often their behavior seems irrational or purposeless. Time once spent with family members is now spent with one’s lover. Relationships deteriorate, at home, at work, in the community, and in the church. When the hunt begins it is much like watching a moth flying close to a flame. The attempt is to get as close as possible without being burned. Few escapes unhurt.

The actual attempts at lovemaking create a huge chasm. Notably most experience this as a milestone in life, a dividing point, a great divide. Once the sexual relationship occurs the couple becomes aware that all things are different. The betrayal affects virtually every relationship in life, parents, friends, even enemies, but most importantly, one’s relationship with the Lord changes dramatically. To some, these changes can be very exciting. The excitement even becomes addictive. To others, the guilt is overwhelming, and the trite saying ‘the agony and the ecstasy,’ takes on a whole new personal meaning. Once this chasm has been crossed no one will escape unhurt. Even if a spouse has deliberately pushed the mate into the relationship, just to get rid of them, the consequences for everyone is overpowering.

Read Full Post »

3-16-2023 – A Word to the Wise – PART 3

Satan knows he cannot duplicate this sense of pleasure and contentment. Thus, he masks the purpose of sex by focusing on the outward appearance of the woman entangling the man in a web of lies. These lies lead to sexual addiction, for the imitation lacks the satisfaction of the real thing. The real thing is fulfilling companionship. Because Satan’s substitute does not work, it is sought many times in hopes of attaining that which it promises, but fails to deliver. Satan perverts good and delivers as a substitute an immoral act incapable of providing a real sense of companionship. Rather it provides just the opposite–a deep sense of emptiness and loneliness making one hunger and yearn even more intensely.

It is quite simple. After the sex act, the man is drawn frightenly close to the person. This happens because God created the yearning for companionship in man’s spirit. The strength of these feelings equals that experienced in any addiction. Addiction proceeds from the mind or heart. Addictions diminish the yearning for companionship as found in the marital relationship. The yearning for companionship is sewn into the fabric of mans spirit, and is a kin to the experience of worship. The fear man experiences in the sex act accounts both for the desire for immoral relationships (because closeness is not required) and explains why sex outside of marriage is so different from sex in marriage. For the women the chief fear in sex is that the man will possess her, consume her, own her, and not honor his debt to her.

Outside of marriage, man has sex with a woman for much the same reason a dog urinates on every tree or car in the neighborhood. It enlarges his domain. The woman is promiscuous because she desires to destroy man. She innately knows that promiscuous sex is destructive, destructive physically, in that one may acquire all manner of disease, destructive emotionally because intimacy is impossible and it is destructive spiritually since God’s Word expressly says that adultery will get one the hot place. The foolish man fails to recognize that this behavior robs him of his wealth, health, and heritage.

Moreover, the result of immorality for the man is anger towards the woman. This anger may be displaced to another object, but it is rooted in the sexual relationship. Examples stretch over six or more thousand years of biblical history to name a few as representative; Lamech, Hagar, Lot, Sarah, Isaac, Esau, Samson, David, Judah, Tamar, Moses, Absalom, Hosea, Herod, Herodias, and the list goes on.

Why is illicit sex a source of anger? (Illicit sex as used here means sex outside of marriage, or unpaid or perverse in marriage). Because it is like stealing, and there is no outlet for the emotions experienced. While when one has premarital sex with the future wife, it is problematic, it hardly compares with the devastation of multiple sex partners. The latter leads to each sex partner having a stake or claim on a part of the sinner’s soul which he or she can sell or trade to Satan.

The man owes a debt to the woman he has sex with in marriage or out of marriage. The woman senses this. If the debt is unpaid in marriage then bitterness accrues with the wife. Lack of payment in non -marital circumstances is rarely allowed for any significant period of time.

The debt may be paid at the discretion of the woman in one of the following ways. First, it may be paid physically. One example of this is the man sees that the woman is fulfilled sexually. It may be paid for materialistically, that is through money or gifts. It may be paid for emotionally, that is by meeting needs of affection or other emotional needs of the woman. It can be met spiritually. A positive example of this would be character training. A negative example would be in taking possession of another’s soul.

Now immorality never pays the full debt incurred. The failure to pay the debt in full results in an outstanding unpaid debt. Satan has a stake in that wherever there is an unpaid debt, he may step in, and buy out the debt and become the lien holder.

Read Full Post »