Christian Family Services Ministry

9-4-2022 – A Word to the Wise – Now we turn to the lie. The lie for abandonment is different than the lie for rejection. The lie for abandonment usually comes very early. This lie is highly emotional in nature it is the belief that the caretaker is gone and will not be back. Usually because of some behavior of the early child.

In my case it came about in this manner. The first incident that laid the foundation occurred when I was about two. I was a terribly sick child. Two months premature and a twin. Physical problems worsen to the state that by the time I was hospitalized with little to no hope of survival. I was in isolation 2 weeks abandoned as perceived by a child. For comfort I sucked my thumb. Physically I recovered because my mother begged the Lord to heal me.

Two years later my parents divorced and I was placed in the home of a drunken family who drank and fought incessantly. I had allergy problems and could not breath with out making a lot of noise. This resulted in being yelled at and threatened. Subsequently I would hide under the cover and suck my thumb for comfort. The fear placed in my heart by Satan was I would never see my parents again or be rescued.

At the same time Satan taught me to withdraw to survive. This behavior continues even until today. It seems to me that Satan always reinforces the feeling to enhance the lie.

So, at 9 years of age, I ended up in the hospital with polio. I clearly remember that first night after all the shots and testing being in a baby bed an IV in my left arm which hurt, I moved my arm thought it was painful because my thumb allowed some measure of comfort. But the pain was worth the ability to suck my thumb. As mentioned in a previous article this was an abusive home in which I finally decided to just die.

This second hospitalization reinforced Satan’s lie resulting in the familiar compensation. One side effect not intended by the Satan is a very high tolerance for pain.

However, with age other reactions occurred. Abandonment results in a strong reaction usually seen in anger, acting out and unpredictable. All these symptoms were observed in my behavior from nine on magnified by the death of my father at 12. What others see is an abbreviated panic like reaction usually with anger or withdrawal. It is always the same reaction and out of proportion to the event being experienced.

I have recognized this same pattern in many others with abusive or early loss of a parent. We shall continue