Christian Family Services Ministry

8-13-2020 – A Word to the Wise – I Corinthians 13:11

“When I was a child , I SPOKE LIKE A CHILD, I THOUGHT LIKE A CHILD, I REASONED LIKE A CHILD, WHEN I BECAME A MAN I GAVE UP CHILDISH WAYS.”

As children we see the world about us in a childlike manner. We see things we do not know or understand and so we attach meaning to them. Emotions are either intensified or devalued.

Often a child experiences at the hands of an adult emotional outrage, anger and or frustration. The child may find this unbearable and withdraws or over reacts. The child does not understand nor comprehend the pressure of the adult. How can they? They are children. The child does not have to be concerned with where the next meal comes from, how one is to get to work, and how to solve a problem. Illness and fear are new to the child. abandonment, disloyal behavior between spouse does not have the meaning or intensity for the child until it is directed at them.

When the child becomes an adult then part of adulthood is interpreting ones childhood in the context of themselves being an adult and knowing what it is like to have these stresses and demands and navigating the failures of life. The adult is expected to reassess childhood from the stand point of maturity which then alters or explains the behavior of the parent. This may result in a far clearer assessment of the parent either good, or bad.

As a child experiencing the alcoholic parent is different than as an adult reassessing the behavior of the parent. Excusing the behavior of the parent as a child, is seen differently in the light of the adult who can clearly see the pain and harm brought to a family from the addictive parent.

Once these things are taken into consideration the result is a more mature consideration of the growing up years.

An example from my own childhood coming from a single parent home. As a child it seemed there was never enough to eat, there were things I could not do. Example I wanted to learn to fly. The high school where I attended had special classes for this the cost of which were $100. My mother could not afford it. I resented it. It seemed unfair.

Years later after my mother’ death I came across a letter she had written to her sister. It was the second day of the month. During this period she was paid once a month. She had finished paying the bills incurred from the previous month and she tells her sister she has $2.56 for the whole next month!

The unbelievable strain this must have been for a woman with four children, and no child support.

I now as an adult see the whole situation of me wanting the extra classes from a far different perspective. I see the situation as an adult. The childish expectations take on a whole new meaning.

Part of maturity is understanding childhood from an adult perspective .

It also means the adult should now more clearly see the importance of discipline, and the consequences of misbehavior, both as a child and as an adult.