Christian Family Services Ministry

1-4-2020 – A Word to the Wise – On Loving
What is the difference ‘in loving’ and ‘being in love’? What is the difference in day and night?
We tend to think the devil does not love, untrue. The devil loves greatly….himself. We tend to think sociopaths are incapable of love the reality is they do love greatly….themselves.
So why is being in love, so different from loving. Simply because ‘being in love’ is focused on self not on the other. When the sands of time pass so does this ‘love’ pass and another takes its place.
There are many fallacies about love, just plain myths that many tend to accept without thinking. Let me list a few.
The myth exist that if we love we will be loved. It is immediately obvious that this is a self-centered love that demands that another give and we receive. So it is believing that if I give love I will receive love. This myth undermines love all together.
Another misconception is that love is able to exist without discipline. One is hardly able to go out in public and not see parents letting their children disturb and distress others with children’s temper tantrums. How many times have you sat in a public place and the undisciplined parents claim it unloving to discipline thus do nothing and others suffer the madness of little ones.
Another myth is the whole idea of unconditional love. The very term makes me want to vomit. It is an idea dreamed up by selfish self-seeking people determine to get something for nothing. It is a myth that is propagated by the idea that God loves us unconditionally. We can put that to rest with one sentence from the mouth of the Lord. “If you love me you will keep my commandments. “ (John 14:15) RSV. God’s love for us is conditional. It is based on obedience, loyalty, truthfulness, perseverance, and a host of other traits.
You will most often hear this demand for unconditional love from the mouth of selfish children, who demand that you rescue them from the consequences of their bad behavior. To do so is to destroy the child, and reveal not a loving parent but a foolish one.
When I was a teen I had to read “How to win friends and influence people.” To put it another way how to be loved by others. A noble idea, but a self-centered one for its basic purpose is getting others to love you. A task sociopaths have mastered. It is not that the book is worthless. It has some valuable ideas. However our task in life is not to be loved rather to give love.
Jesus in Luke 6 teaches a basic truth. if you love those who love you, what credit is that , everyone does that. The height of love is to love those who hate you. Many of us find this almost impossible, to love the enemy. However this is what we are called on to do as children of God. To stand as shining examples of the one who died for us and calls us to a new life.