Christian Family Services Ministry

6-13-2019 – A Word to the Wise: Family Devotional Chart

What follows is a modified family chart that I use in counseling to help families with children. It is effective over a long period of time with character development. I suggest you stay with it 3 months just like it is to see if it works for your family. No attention is given for negative or failure to give a positive reply.

Now here is the important part. Through experience I have learned that reward is very important. For each child you have a jar with the child’s name on it. For every positive answer you immediately put a dime in the child’s jar. No IOU’s, no “I will give it at the end of the week.” It is an immediate reward for a positive reply. Further financial suggestion will follow at the conclusion.

Here are the questions and method to be used: Each child will have one of the inexpensive composition books available at dollar stores or Walmart for .88 cents. In the chart they will keep verses and records.

The first two questions are Have you written the verse in Proverbs today. The second is Have you written the verse from the Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount today?

This requires the child to handwrite out one verse starting with chapter 10 of Proverbs. Each written verse is preceded by the child’s name. Example: Proverbs 10:1 “John, A wise son (or daughter) makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother”.

The verse is written in the composition notebook. It is dated. If written the child immediately gets ten cents. The second verse comes from starting with Matthew 5 verse 3: John (or the child’s own name), Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs are the kingdom of heaven.” If written the child receives a dime immediately.

The next questions follow with the child receiving a dime immediately for each positive answer.

I have been obedient today.

I have written one verse from Proverbs today,

I have written one verse from the Sermon on the Mount today. (Matthew chapter 5-7.)

I have been kind to others today.

I have praised someone today.

I have been honest today.

I have restrained my anger today.

Tell about a good deed done today.

I have told someone thank you today.

I have prayed today.

At the end of the week if there is more than one child in the family each child will take $1 from their jar for each of the other children and give it to them. This behavior teaches the child to give and receive. Obviously nothing is actually lost or gained in the process. At the end of the month the funds in the jar are removed by the child and spent in an appropriate manner. Now I have addressed this for the children. The adults are welcome to include themselves as well. It is imperative to have the change on hand before you begin.

All the verses will be written in the journal, dated and the care giver will record the total amount paid out in the child’s journal at the end of each session.

Now the reasoning for rewarding in this manner. First the child eventually connects good behavior with reward. The amount is not important what is important is the immediate reward.

Some will question the reward system. Let me remind you that it is how the Lord deals with us. Hebrews 11:6 “For without faith it is impossible to please him. For whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. (RSV) You find the same thing in Deuteronomy 28:1-16.

The child learns over a period of time there is a reward for kindness, generosity, godliness.

6-12-2019 – A Word to the Wise: It is so often we hear unwise statement and we believe and are seduced by them. Example, I hear it all the time: “You must love unconditionally.

This lie only benefits the addict, the selfish, the self-serving. Love is not based on who or what a person is rather on their creation. Love should not be expected, nor demanded.

Moreover, the Lord God does not love unconditionally He does not expect his children to love unconditionally.. Remember, “If you love me you will obey my commandments.” That is not unconditional.

It should be apparent that we ought to discern wisely the things we hear, and proclaim.