Christian Family Services Ministry

12-6-2018 – A Word to the Wise: Mother on Teaching Children

MOTHER ON TEACHING CHILDREN

This is a letter from my mother in response to an article I was writing for a journal discussing the chart system she created for us as children.

My Dearest One:

I think of you so much and pray for your strength and courage that you might bear the trials of this life.

About teaching the children—there are two scriptures when truly and diligently applied in every moment of every day I think will insure the saving of any child that can be saved.

It is possible to have a Judas whom Christ personally could not guide. It is possible to have one. The task is to do as Jesus did with Judas.

The starting point is to memorize Deuteronomy 6:6-9.

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD; and you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words which I command you this day shall be upon your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. And you shall bind them as a sign upon your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Talk of them in words continually in every situation and let the chart be as the writing on the gate. Then understand how to receive the guidance and assurance.

The key to the promise of Prov. 22:6 is prayer. The word ‘depart’ is the guide. A child cannot depart from where he does not first arrive; that is acceptance of the teaching.

You can see if a child does not accept or is not taking into his heart the things you explain. When this occurs then you ask God to reveal to you the reason. This is how you fight Satan in the child.

Satan will set up blocks in the child’s mind and heart to attempt to destroy the seed. but God can and will show what the blocks are if you ask him. Thus Christ is able to guard the heart of the child while he fills his mind with knowledge.

About the chart. How it works. The chart will do three things if prayerfully used.

A child can only learn some things by doing. Words are too big and deep to plant in the child’s heart; words

such as honor, obedience, self-denial. The child must do to learn.

So the chart teaches:

1. To honor God and his Son
2. To be honest with themselves.
3. To begin their own fight with self.

I was always on the chart too it helped me also- and it brings the adult down to the child’s level. Thus children are made deeply aware we are all under God’s law to obey him.

I always prayed before I made the chart. It included one question that went to the heart of each of each of us. A personal weakness of each. The children did not know this only God and I.

Children love gold stars so I used them for the good works. Or you can just give good marks each day and a gold star to the one with the most good marks at the end of the week.

Also a good reward is to make the winner the King or Overseer for a day—that is everyone must serve him for a day at the end of the week since he made the greatest effort to serve others all week.

There must be small rewards for the child’s encouragement. However it is better to make the reward unconnected with material things. This directs the child away from material values. Here is a sample chart:

HAVE I PLEASED GOD TODAY

SUN MON TUES WED THURS FRI SAT

PARENT

PARENT

CHILD

CHILD

CHILD

1. Have I studied my Bible today
2. Have I prayed today
3. Have I done a good deed today? What was it?
4. Have I given someone else their way today?
5. Have I been truthful today?
6. Have I sincerely thanked God for one thing today?

Everyone answers each question one at a time.

This is not a game. Use the story of Ananias and Sapphira to teach them this is between them and God, not a game.

You see each chart has a purpose a lesson to be brought home.

This one teaches by doing:

1.We study to show ourselves approved of

God. (II Tim. 2:15) (The child gains a sense of being approved of and thus self worth) Phil 4:6

2.We pray to sustain our relationship with God. (Child learns to trust in God and place his security in him)

3. Kindness is an element of love I Cor. 13.(Child learns proper expression of love that it is not just an emotion as they see on T.V)
4. Self-denial is a condition to be obeyed if we love God. Matt. 16:24
5. God is truth. Child must learn fear of God. God hates lying lips Prob 12:22 those who lie go to one place, the lake of fire. Rev. 21:8.
6. We must must learn thankfulness to be happy.

If I have an old coat I truly appreciate –I feel joy if you have a new one. Thanksgiving is a condition of Gods gifts to us. Phil. 4:6.

Use large sheets of white drawing paper and place the chart on an often seen place. The chart is to be remembered throughout the day.

Often I would have cookies ice cream or something after the chart to help add a pleasant feeling surrounding it.

I do not think it is good to eat and drink during the Bible study. I did insist on a serious quiet atmosphere then so the devotional would be taken seriously.

For teaching the plain simple facts of life to children. Proverbs is the best of all the books.

We always read the Bible and each one prayed before the chart. Thus everyone received two good marks. These 2 questions should always be on every chart.

I do not think much of Bible stories for teaching children they do not have the reasoning power of seeing and applying the principles. I think this is why children know so little even when they have attended Bible Classes all of their life. They are given milk when they should receive meat.

Doctors say a child’s attitude toward God, is shaped by the time they are four years old as well as to themselves and others.

From four to six they examine what they took in. From eight to twelve character is formed and there is little changing after this point.

MY COMMENTS:

There were a couple of surprises for me when I reread this the other day.

When she stated that Bible stories should not be used here for teaching I would have questioned it. This is the major method utilized to teach children. Yet 60 years ago the Lord revealed to her the weaknesses of this method.

I have wondered why, for sometime why many of my clients seemed to know so little about the Bible. The Bible stories lacked insight or depth outside the context which they were given. I see now it indeed is true.

The second issue was the Judas matter. I cannot say some kids are just born bad. But I do know that from the day a child is born they make decisions and those decisions lead to attitudes and behaviors.

This is part of a letter that mother sent me in graduate school when I was writing a journal article.

I have used the chart method and recommended to many over the years.

A COPY OF THE CHART MAY BE FOUND ON MY WEB SITE christianfamilyservice.com