Christian Family Services Ministry

11-25-2023 – A Word to the Wise – MOTHERLESS

Admission into this group requires the death or loss of one’s mother. This loss may come about by abandonment, rejection or abuse. The emphasis here is on the comfort aspect of mother to child. Thus, God with the loss of the mother takes the unique place of comforter.

The unique characteristic about those who are God’s consolers is the gentle kindness, which touches the spirits of others. In II Corinthians 1:3-7 Paul addresses the issue of comfort. The section I wish to emphasize is verses 3 and 4. “Who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

To me, this means that there are two classes of people. One group is composed of those who have been comforted by God, and the second group is made up of those who are comforted by those comforted by God.

What is the difference between these two groups? Those comforted by the Lord seem to live with an intimacy that is familiar and expected in that relationship. They desire the Lord’s comfort. They obtain much consolation from reading God’s Word and walking with Him. In contrast they receive little consolation from people.

The second group is just the reverse. They prefer to talk to others about their problems and turn to others for comfort. When being comforted by the person who has been comforted by the Lord, they feel great relief. However, they are not at home with intense personal closeness with the Lord. It may be frightening and disturbing.

What is closeness with the Father like? It is difficult to communicate but let me try to paint a picture. Shortly after my mother death it was like this.

“The two walked the forest path, the twilight of the deepening indigo sky painting darkening shadows midst the evening dew. “Why Father,” said the child, “Why take her?” The question was met by silence. The Father clasped the small hand a little tighter. The two, Father and child, hand in hand walked further the winding path. The stillness of the evening interrupted once again, “Why Father, why?”

A tear trickled down the Father’s cheek as He whispered, “Greatly beloved,” but the words ceased with a sigh, as if explanation was just not possible. This same experience came again with another loss just eight months ago.

It was time for parting the journey would be continued later. As the child sadly watched the departing Father, the longing for His presence again swept over and engulfed him. A little lighter, somewhat stronger. He had said almost nothing, yet nothing more was needed—simply hand in hand with the Father was enough.

As an infant, my mother would rock me during the early morning hours when my physical distress was the greatest. The doctors had warned her there was no hope, “He is two months premature, a twin, and survival is impossible.” It is as if I can still hear her alternately singing and praying softly, “I come to the garden alone, while dew is still on the roses . . . and He walks with talks and me with me….” Yes, even now some seventy-nine years later I hear those words. I can personally attest to the comfort afforded by the Father, both by my mother and then later by Him. He indeed does walk and talk with His children in one manner or another.

But I have known many others, deeply religious, for whom such comfort is too close. They prefer a little distance. The Father sends them comforters who have been comforted by Him.

It must be emphasized here that these mercy gifts from the Lord must be chosen. The Lord initiates the process, but the person chooses. Others may demand a replacement parent; though honored, it is hardly a wise choice.

As the reader might notice emotional situations are difficult to talk about much less write about. Perhaps a little later.