Christian Family Services Ministry

11-25-2023 – A Word to the Wise – MOTHERLESS

Admission into this group requires the death or loss of one’s mother. This loss may come about by abandonment, rejection or abuse. The emphasis here is on the comfort aspect of mother to child. Thus, God with the loss of the mother takes the unique place of comforter.

The unique characteristic about those who are God’s consolers is the gentle kindness, which touches the spirits of others. In II Corinthians 1:3-7 Paul addresses the issue of comfort. The section I wish to emphasize is verses 3 and 4. “Who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

To me, this means that there are two classes of people. One group is composed of those who have been comforted by God, and the second group is made up of those who are comforted by those comforted by God.

What is the difference between these two groups? Those comforted by the Lord seem to live with an intimacy that is familiar and expected in that relationship. They desire the Lord’s comfort. They obtain much consolation from reading God’s Word and walking with Him. In contrast they receive little consolation from people.

The second group is just the reverse. They prefer to talk to others about their problems and turn to others for comfort. When being comforted by the person who has been comforted by the Lord, they feel great relief. However, they are not at home with intense personal closeness with the Lord. It may be frightening and disturbing.

What is closeness with the Father like? It is difficult to communicate but let me try to paint a picture. Shortly after my mother death it was like this.

“The two walked the forest path, the twilight of the deepening indigo sky painting darkening shadows midst the evening dew. “Why Father,” said the child, “Why take her?” The question was met by silence. The Father clasped the small hand a little tighter. The two, Father and child, hand in hand walked further the winding path. The stillness of the evening interrupted once again, “Why Father, why?”

A tear trickled down the Father’s cheek as He whispered, “Greatly beloved,” but the words ceased with a sigh, as if explanation was just not possible. This same experience came again with another loss just eight months ago.

It was time for parting the journey would be continued later. As the child sadly watched the departing Father, the longing for His presence again swept over and engulfed him. A little lighter, somewhat stronger. He had said almost nothing, yet nothing more was needed—simply hand in hand with the Father was enough.

As an infant, my mother would rock me during the early morning hours when my physical distress was the greatest. The doctors had warned her there was no hope, “He is two months premature, a twin, and survival is impossible.” It is as if I can still hear her alternately singing and praying softly, “I come to the garden alone, while dew is still on the roses . . . and He walks with talks and me with me….” Yes, even now some seventy-nine years later I hear those words. I can personally attest to the comfort afforded by the Father, both by my mother and then later by Him. He indeed does walk and talk with His children in one manner or another.

But I have known many others, deeply religious, for whom such comfort is too close. They prefer a little distance. The Father sends them comforters who have been comforted by Him.

It must be emphasized here that these mercy gifts from the Lord must be chosen. The Lord initiates the process, but the person chooses. Others may demand a replacement parent; though honored, it is hardly a wise choice.

As the reader might notice emotional situations are difficult to talk about much less write about. Perhaps a little later.

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11-24-2023 – A Word to the Wise – I want to share an earlier post for those who find the times difficult.

Knowing the early life of Jesus

There is little written about the early life of Jesus other than His birth, flight to Egypt, and the Temple incident at age 12.

Why wouldn’t scripture provide any additional information about Jesus’ childhood years? Scripture, I believe, gives us some other insights into Jesus’ childhood from what is called the Messianic passages. If they are indeed referring to Jesus, these passages open a door to understanding a lot about His early childhood.

Hidden in this passage and is another suggestion which has huge ramifications. The text says He was there in the temple for 3 days by Himself. What is that? Three days? Jesus was able to fully care for Himself at this age. This would include Him being able to make His way around a large city and basically make decisions about Himself. I suspect this was the first time in His young life that He was exposed to acceptance, and that by strangers.

How is this possible? Some would say that you would expect the Son of God to do these things. In reality, I think there is another reason.

He had been taught His stepfather’s trade; some say the trade was carpentry, others say it was masonry. He would be physically strong. He would have had responsibilities towards His brothers and sisters. Now, this becomes a significant piece of information.

Jesus had four brothers: James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas. (Matthew 13:55) He also had several sisters according to tradition.

There is little doubt that Jesus’ siblings had some negative feelings towards Him. Considering the nature of Mary’s pregnancy before marriage, Jesus would have become a source of scorn by His siblings and adults alike. In fact, I would suggest that Jesus endured significant distress at the hands of others. These attitudes and behaviors were not new. Rather Jesus is exposed to rejection and jealousy all of His life.

Are there any scriptures which may indicate any of this? I believe so.

Let’s begin with Isaiah 53. Isaiah 53 should be accounted for because His ministry years do not answer the questions raised by the passages concerning Jesus’ childhood. This is a passage that conservative theologians would insist is a reference to the coming Messiah.

Starting with verse 2, notice these traits. The NIV states, “He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.” The RSV reads, “He had no form or comeliness that we should look at him and no beauty that we should desire him.” The JPS version says, “He had no form or beauty that we should look at him, no charm that we should find him pleasing.” So first, He was not attractive, like King David.

Second, look at the next verse; “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.”

Our tendency is to apply this to Jesus’ ministry. I do not think so; this context is in His early life. Sure, during His ministry there were some who hated Him, but the vast number of people loved Him.

It makes good sense that during those early years, the passage is saying Jesus was despised and rejected first by His brothers and sisters and then followed by the general population. Why would it be this kind of rejection?

Examining the nature of Jesus’ birth, Mary was not married at the time of her pregnancy. Jesus’ family knew it and the community had to have known it as well. It is apparent that the family was slow to accept the specialness of Jesus. Even being aware of the birth story does not ensure belief in divinity.

In fact, a close reading of Luke 4:22 reveals the amazement that this is the same Jesus that grew up among them. His family did not believe that He was special. (John 7:3ff) Even before this, we find the family of Jesus wanting to declare Jesus crazy and take Him away. (Mark 3:31-35, Matthew 12:46ff, Luke 8:19-21)

I believe that Luke 4 may even give another perspective that might help us understand what is happening. To see it we must look at what happens when we translate verse 22 back into the original language that Jesus spoke. First, the translation of Luke 4:22 in the RSV, “And all spoke well of him and wondered at the gracious words which proceeded out of his mouth.” If we translate this back into the original language look what happens. “And they all testified against him and were shocked at the disgraceful words that were coming out of his mouth, and they said this is the son of Joseph.” It is too complex to go into why this whole conversation comes out differently, but it does provide context. The text is now compatible with the attempted stoning of Jesus. He is disliked and rejected by those He grew up among, regardless of all His miracles.

Also, the family of Jesus grew up with Him. To them, He was nothing special and He was an embarrassment. Nowhere do we find them supporting Him. We must remember none of Jesus’ family were followers of Him and they did not experience what the disciples experienced. His family did not live through moments like the calming of the storm and the transfiguration, nor were they anywhere near his trial or crucifixion. They grew up with Jesus and disliked Him.

Returning to Isaiah 53, we find that He was not attractive. Jesus probably, to some extent, kept to Himself because of the behavior of others towards Him. The text points out that He was a person of sorrow and grief. These attributes are experienced in childhood. They were lifelong experiences, not just the last week of His life.

So, we see a summary of Jesus’ early years in Isaiah. One may ask why was there this depth of rejection and why did the Father allow His son to experience this abuse? Simply how else would Jesus come to know the depth of man’s hatred? He knows men are not to be trusted. Now He is indeed prepared to love His enemy and to practice forgiveness.

Turning from Isaiah, let’s examine Psalm 69. This is one of the Messianic Psalms, several passages are quoted in the New Testament. It is my contention that this passage gives us the view into the heart of Jesus’ early life, and it is not pleasant.

Here are the first twenty verses: Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me. I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God. More in number than the hairs of my head are those who hate me without cause; mighty are those who would destroy me, those who attack me with lies. What I did not steal must I now restore? O God, you know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you. Let not those who hope in you be put to shame through me, O Lord God of hosts; let not those who seek you be brought to dishonor through me, O God of Israel. For it is for your sake that I have borne reproach, that dishonor has covered my face. I have become a stranger to my brothers, an alien to my mother’s sons. For zeal for your house has consumed me, and the reproaches of those who reproach you have fallen on me. When I wept and humbled my soul with fasting, it became my reproach. When I made sackcloth my clothing, I became a byword to them. I am the talk of those who sit in the gate, and the drunkards make songs about me. But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness. Deliver me from sinking in the mire; let me be delivered from my enemies and from the deep waters. Let not the flood sweep over me, or the deep swallow me up, or the pit close its mouth over me. Answer me, O Lord, for your steadfast love is good; according to your abundant mercy, turn to me. Hide not your face from your servant, for I am in distress; make haste to answer me. Draw near to my soul, redeem me; ransom me because of my enemies! You know my reproach, and my shame and my dishonor; my foes are all known to you. Reproaches have broken my heart, so that I am in despair. I looked for pity, but there was none, and for comforters, but I found none.

In this first section, the Psalmist begins with a plea for help. This is not a reference to actual drowning in the sense of water or mud. This passage is referring to drowning in hatred. Whose hatred? That becomes clearer as we proceed through the material.

One may ask why is God, His father, not paying attention to His plea? Just as God would not intervene in the crucifixion years later, He could not intervene here. Jesus had to grow; He had to mature mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. There are no shortcuts to life. Isaiah proclaimed that He would be acquainted with sorrow and now we see just how much sorrow He endured.

So, the passage declares that Jesus would be hated without cause. After age 12 or before? My suggestion is that it began at an early age and the assaults came from within His family and from the community. Proceeding to the next section in Psalms 69, we find a host of accusations occurring against Jesus. We find Jesus begging the Father to protect others; He is pleading that they not be brought down or dishonored by the accusations against Him. The psalmist goes on to point to the family, not only as the accuser but also the ones who might be shamed through Him. Evidently, even His family is bearing criticism because of Jesus. Following criticism comes the spread of the gossip. Now it is the talk of the elders of the city, and it has even grown to the point that the drunkards of the city proclaim songs of ridicule.

Conclusion:

It is neither reasonable nor practical to think that Jesus led a trouble-free life until He was 30 years old when He began His ministry. It is easy to proclaim that His divinity made everything easy for Him and He had all wisdom and knowledge, but this is just not the case.

In fact, even in the 3 years of his ministry, Jesus found Himself amazed by men. Jesus marveled at the centurion’s replies. (Matthew 8:10ff) We find Jesus astonished at the disbelief of his hometown in spite of all his miracles. (Mark 6:6) These passages do not reflect omniscience. Even when it came to His upcoming arrest, He is found pleading with the Father if there is another way. (Mark 14:32ff)

The writer of Hebrews insists that in every way Jesus experienced what we experience. (Hebrew 4:14ff). He learned obedience just as we must learn obedience. He suffered just as we suffer, not just during the last 3 years of His life, nor just the 40 days in the wilderness. His strength of character, trust, and faith was built on the sorrow and trials of childhood, and even into manhood. Even if Psalm 69 is not a detailed description of Jesus early life, and I believe it is, He would have to have gone through this if indeed he suffered in every way as we do.

So, I offer a decidedly different view of Jesus before His ministry, His early childhood was filled with disbelief, hatred, and rejection. This is why He is able to understand us, because He walked in our shoes, tasted the bitterness of family and friends from birth until death.

So what would Jesus have us do?

Happy Thanksgiving

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11-21-2023 – A Word to the Wise – February 27, 1986. Element 341

Sometimes you meet violence with violence.

This evening we were patrolling near Grand and Parnell when Dean comes on the radio screaming for help at 3600 Holmes. We were only 4 blocks away and turned on our lights and siren. “341 enroute we are only 4 blocks away”. “341, 348, 312, 317 cover 313 code 3”.

We come to a screaming halt at 3600 Holmes. It is a large apartment complex full of dope dealers. I jumped out of the car while it is still moving and go to help Dean who has a semi-choke hold on a suspect who is struggling violently.

I ran up and hit the suspect as hard as I can with my flashlight in the groin. He falls to the ground. I looked around and saw a large crowd gathering. Dean’s squad car is covered in blood, his and the suspects. The suspect is still struggling Tony runs up and helps handcuff the suspect.

The other squads began to arrive, and the crowd backed off. A second suspect is sitting in his vehicle with both his hands out the window.

Two other officers get him out and begin to question him. He is eventually released. We called for an ambulance. They arrive and start to look at the suspect. He is still screaming.

Tony put the suspect in our back seat and told DFD to follow us and get away from that location for safety purposes. We stop under the I-45 Bridge.

I took the suspect out of the back seat still screaming and put him in the ambulance to be examined. Tony goes back to talk to Dean and find out what had happened. In the meantime, the suspect starts screaming again, said he is going to kill me and tried to kick me in the face. Bad choice on his part. He missed and I pushed him back down on the stretcher. All of a sudden, he kicked me in the chest, and I go flying out the ambulance.

By this time, I have had enough. I grabbed him by the cuffs and literally dragged him back to the squad car throw him in and slammed the door. Tony and Dean think it funny. I got in the back seat and told him he had better stop his crap or he is going to wish he had never been born.

He settled down a minute and Tony came back, and we started for Parkland Hospital. All of a sudden, he started trying to get my gun. I slapped him hard, forcing him to one side, and then put him in a choke hold until he passed out. I release him. It takes him a couple of minutes to recover and then he starts fighting again.

I choked him out again. He struggles and fights me all the way to Parkland Hospital. When we get there, we tie him down to a stretcher, handcuffing his feet and hands to the sides and ends of the stretcher. We get him inside and he calms down.

Finally, an intern walked up to exam him and got really arrogant with me. “Get those handcuffs off of him”. “Sorry but this guy is violent they stay on”. “This is my patient now take them off”. I tell him he is stupid and you’re going to learn a harsh lesson.”

He tells me he is a doctor and to do as he says. I tell him, I am a doctor and you’re still an idiot. I then took the cuffs off his feet and backed away. The doctor stepped up to the gurney. In a flash the prisoner reaches up and kicks the doctor in the chest and he falls back six or seven feet. I walked over, looked down at the doctor, and said, “Now do you understand why he is tied down? Do you want me to take his handcuffs off too? He is very meek. “No put them back on”.

Lord, how does someone deal with a prisoner like this? He made me so angry in the squad car that I had no mercy at all. It took three hours at Parkland to get him examined before we could take him to jail. He continues to threaten me. But he did not try to attack again. I guess I finally got his attention.

Social worker? Cop, or minister?

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11-8-2023 – A Word to the Wise – There is a time when you know absolutely that the Lord intervenes and decides it is time to stop an evil person. So, a new police story.

Element 311

Friday, September 23, 1988

A most amazing arrest. I got to Southeast police station a little early. Looking at the wanted board for current suspects, I see a poster on a Curtis Alexander B/M/8/1/1966. Curtis was wanted for a double murder which occurred June 5, 1988. CAPERS had been looking for Curtis but could not find him. He was driving a 1984 Chevrolet D14PBQ. I took the poster off the board and made a copy of it. Then I ask the Lord to deliver this suspect into my hands.

Going to detail, the watch commander reads out several items, including the wanted poster on Curtis. My partner and I then left the station. About 2 hours later, we were northbound on Municipal, checking vehicle tags as usual, when I looked up and see the tag D14PBQ.

I was shocked I knew that tag. I looked at my hot sheet, and the vehicle was not on it. I told My partner to follow that vehicle. He wanted to know why. I said I do not remember, but he is wanted. 311 rolling stolen. Go ahead, 311. D14 PBQ. 311, that vehicle is clear. Dispatch 311, I am positive a bulletin was read out in detail about this vehicle. By now, it is starting to get dark.

About that time, the station sergeant comes on the radio; 311, we found the bulletin. Suspect is wanted for a double homicide; approach with extreme caution. In the meantime, we had swung in behind the vehicle, which had turned south on 3300 Lamar. 311, start us some cover. 341 enroute. 311 traffic. Go ahead, 311 5400 S. Lamar on David 14 Paul Boy Queen. Vehicle is occupied 4 times. 341, we are a couple of blocks away, put us out with 311.

We light up the vehicle, and the driver pulls over. With weapons drawn, we approached the vehicle. My partner on the driver side, and I on the passenger side. The windows are down. “All of you put your hands out the windows.” About then, 341 arrived, and we got all of the people out of the car. Sure, enough, Curtis was sitting in the front passenger seat. I found a 357 under his seat. We handcuffed him and took him to jail.

Lord Jesus, I thank you for hearing my request, and delivering this man into my hands.

These types of arrests are not unusual; it is a matter of asking him for the bad guy. You see, when the Lord gets enough, that is it.

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11-1-2023 – A Word to the Wise – Those of you who know me know the main focus of my research for the past thirty years has been the gifts. Three passages of Scripture deal directly with gifts. Romans 12:4-9, I Corinthians 12:27-30, and Ephesians 4: 11-14.

Problems begin to occur when we group all three passages under the heading Spiritual Gifts. They are not. There are two distinct groups. The rightly titled Spiritual Gifts are found in Corinthians and the Ephesians passages, but a distinctive different group is found in Romans.

The Corinthians and Ephesians passages are labeled Spiritual Gifts- as such, they are given to members of the church. These gifts did not exist before the death of Christ. They were only given to support the churches and only appear after the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus.

In contrast, the gifts described in Romans existed from the moment God created man. These gifts are clearly present and identifiable in many Old Testament characters.

Another difference between the two groups is that the gifts described in Romans, which I call Motivational, or Enduring Life Gifts are singular in nature, one given to each person. In contrast, an individual may have more than one Spiritual Gift. The specific purpose and quality of the gifts are different.

Motivational gifts are not to be confused with traits or personality characteristics, which may be psychological, mental, physical, cognitive, or emotional in nature. All these names suggest a humanistic type of interpretation.

The Motivational Gifts each have specific qualities that may be attributed to them. They are given by God at conception and mark the person as owned and created by the Creator. The Lord does not use the gift to control the person but gives value to the creation.

The Motivational gift supersedes all other gifts, talents, or attributes given to an individual. In other words, the motivational gift is primary- it’s going to rule how the individual sees and experiences the world. Once we understand the differences between spiritual gifts and motivational gifts, then their individual purposes become clear.

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