Christian Family Services Ministry

10-14-2023 – A Word to the Wise – LOVE

There are many myths about love.

Love is a feeling.

Undying love

Unconditional love

A myth is a gift-wrapped lie. Perhaps the greatest myth is that love should be unconditional.

THE NONSENSE OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

We are a people who like to proclaim unconditional love as the height of love. Somehow, we have developed the idea that unconditional love is a biblical concept. It is not. Love is never ever unconditional. The Lord always demands obedience. It is not that perfect obedience is obtainable, but rather that we work towards being obedient. John reiterates this in I John 2;” He who says “I know him” but disobeys his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps his word, in him truly love for God is perfected.”

The truth is love is very conditional and must be exercised judiciously. The concept of unconditional love is a humanistic idea.

Jesus, in Luke 6, states, “ If you love those who love you, what credit is it to you?.” Closer examination reveals that what is given, is to God with man merely the recipient. Love for God is judged by behavior to man. Love is action and behavior towards one’s fellow man as evidence of loving God.

Two areas of our lives most often popularized by the idea of unconditional love are those to whom we love in a sexual way and our children. In the former, we may pledge undying love, a pledge that is quickly forgotten with the hardships of marriage. In the latter circumstance, our children, we may proclaim we love unconditionally, yet rarely would we pass the test for such love. In actuality, we would see our love as a future investment which we cash in as they learn to respond to us. After all look at all the effort we place on getting them to express their love for us.

I suspect some may find this idea rather harsh. But observe the attitude of parents which deliver an infant grossly deformed. Because they cannot show the infant off and receive accolades on what a perfect baby they have, they tend to put distance between them and the child. The child is rejected because the parent will not receive a reward. What is the reward? The positive attention of others.

Part of the problem lies in how we have come to define love. Love is an attitude which leads to specific types of behavior. It does not discriminate about the recipient. Once discrimination creeps into the behavior, then the test of love has failed. Let’s discover something about this quality we call love and the behavior it exhibits.

We live in an era which creates tests for everything. We test our vehicle emissions, our water for chemicals, our eyes for glasses, our children for their intelligence. All tests, whatever their purpose, measure test subjects against a standard. The quality of the standard chosen ultimately determines the value of the conclusions reached.

The Scriptures provide a variety of tests and set certain standards by which performance is measured. Such a test is provided for evaluating the quality of love. Actually, several tests are provided for the character quality of love.

Much like gold, love may have impurities. In much the same manner that gold is purified, so love is purified. Whereas fire is used to rid gold of its impurities, sacrifice is used to purify love. One can say, in fact, that the element of sacrifice is the one ingredient which determines the quality of love.