Christian Family Services Ministry

10-18-2019 – A Word to the Wise – Human possessiveness is a misplaced sense of ownership. No one in any relationship owns another person. Husband denotes relation- ship, not ownership, wife denotes relationship not ownership, etc. mother brother, sister, friend.

The deepest yearning in every human being is for a “sense of belonging” but it must be fulfilled in God, if it is displaced to a person it brings many forms of unhappiness – one of which is feelings of being owned by another. This makes the happy marriage impossible because it cannot function in the manner God intended, “as one flesh”, a part of each other.

An example might aid in distinguishing  between ownership and being a part of. The arm functions as a part of us – but suppose we tied it behind us – none of the body could function normally. The human being is meant to function in many relationships but  if tied to only one relationship then none will function properly. It will cripple and eventually destroy all relationships.  Possessiveness is a part of jealousy, so now we see the meaning of Song of Solomon 8:6… “jealousy is cruel as the grave:…” and Proverbs 6:34…”jealousy is the rage of  men…” Why rage? Because he imagines he owns another – that something that is his  is being taken from him – when he should realize he is the taker of that which is not his. He has taken that which is God’s. The world denies its ownership by God.  Therefore it attempts to regain its loss by glamorizing the “belonging the possessiveness” of marriage, which in reality was never even suggested by God at all. God meant for a man and woman to function together in harmony as one. Just as the parts of our body function in harmony.

This is the mystery of the “one flesh”. It was to make vivid the harmony and cooperation to exist between them, the togetherness of  cooperation, not of ownership. We do not think of our arms and legs as belonging to  us: but as being a part of us. At this point one might wonder, is anything mine, and if so – what is it? Yes, there is something which is ours: the love, the kindness, consideration given by another to us. Not to own rather to treasure, to hold close to  our heart and warm with our love and our respect, this is ours.